Well, we’ve come a full year and half now together, I suppose, and I feel that I may honestly say it’s improved me in ways. Paideia has helped me reconsider myself in many different ways, pointed out prejudices in myself I didn’t know existed and may now work to fix, pointed out for me ways that I might become better aware of the world around me, instilled in me a want to be a better citizen of the globe and of our campus – it’s made me sadder for not being able to study “abroad” with the Lakota natives in South Dakota as originally planned, as it has taught me to treasure the prospects of being put into intercultural situations.
Sadly, the 3 month stay with the American Indians ended up with a price tag of upwards to $12,000, not something we could really afford to toss around for a summer study on top of another three semesters of SU and possibly graduate school. I do get to study at NYU for a few weeks, which is deep and confetti exciting because, well fuck, it’s *New York* baby! And getting to study there will help me with my research for the article I’m working on for a conference/Paideia presentation/capstone, and will also allow me to scope out NYU and Columbia as potential graduate schools, which is a neat opportunity I didn’t think I’d get this school-shopping time around. However, while NY-ing is intercultural in its own unique ways, I think we all know that it’s significantly less so than it would’ve been to be plopped on a reservation and have to live with a foreign-native family for a full three months, touring that part of the world, community service-ing, and keeping up with university classes. So, it’s a bummer with a very excellent alternative, I think.
But I can certainly appreciate Paideia as a wonderful force insofar as making sure I recognized the fullness of that academic and personal loss.
I also have to say though that I miss our group meetings outside of normal class time – I know I was no help with planning those this semester, but, as aforementioned in my last blog, this semester has been a particularly rude bitch at certain times. Really, the grit of this semester and some of our discussions in Paideia have had me reconsidering my decision to double major in places, but I don’t like getting my feet wet without going for the full swim. I guess, I might be in the shit for the moment – excuse all my French by the way, I’m writing this pretty early into the morning :p what is it? 2:30 am, on the nose – but I’m also at the point of no return. Really these next two weeks are going to be insanely crazy with all the studying I’m not used to having to do (I’m more of an essay kinda gal, myself) and for birthdays and choir concerts and four essays (told you, didn’t I?) to boot – it’s insane, and I really wish I had more time for you all and our outside class get togethers and maybe even another community service project.
I do have to say though that I’m immeasurably indebted to my double major though for the article that it’s inspired me to write. So far it’s called “Ginsberg and the Trickster: Howlers”, about looking at Ginsberg’s poetry through the scope of Native American trickster mythology. I’m pretty sure this is going to turn into my big creative works project, I’ve already got about a kajillion (that’s a scientific term) sources for it and about 25 pages (not very good ones, but they’re there all the same) written on it, and I have to say again, I’m jacked up. I’m jacked up about this project almost to the point of my other classes suffering for it – I know my studying has definitely dwindled for working on it, and other essays that should’ve been started a while ago have been put on the backburner until just now so that I might work on it some more. I’ve made a decision though: no more till Christmas break.
I feel like a horrific nerd, but I love it. I love the way it integrates both of my majors and so many different sources and perspectives, and how like Paideia it seems, to me at least, to be.
I hope all of you have similarly make-you-crazy projects in store, and I hope all of you have better/similar good/crazy luck with your study abroad plans. Rachel, we’ll miss you!
Thank you all for being such wonderful founts to learn from and such good people to get to work with -- I like our group. Good work. :]
ciao for now amigos,
moi
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