To be honest, I’m really despising NYC so far. I know that’s ungrateful because this is a great experience for my Intercultural Experience, getting to study Comparative Ethnic Urbanisms at NYU and live in the city for a while – but I just can’t stand it here. City city living isn’t for me – especially not all by myself. I’m living at my grandfather’s apartment off-campus, so I’m in an air conditioned place (thank goodness!) but I’m also a bit more isolated. But you know, it’s not even that I’m not people at the school, because I am, and my classmates are very cool & very diverse – there’s only a small group of us in the class, 8 or 10, but there are people there from everywhere: two or three native New Yorkers, a girl from Singapore (who’s studying now in London), a girl from Tokyo, and then a couple others from scattered America (such as myself) – so it’s wonderful getting all these fresh perspectives on American urban issues, but it’s also miserable in its own ways – I find myself not really wanting to meet other people, which I find strange for me since I had very little trouble integrating myself almost immediately in with my new environment at SU.
It’s been a very difficult transition (as well as a damned expensive one) and I find it very difficult to motivate myself to do anything. I don’t want to go out and see the sites (as you may here find proof as it’s July 4th in NYC and I’m sitting in the apartment writing this blog entry instead of marching down to the Hudson to see the fireworks – although, I will say, I’m hardly patriotic in the flags-and-apple pie sense; I’d say I’m more patriotic in the Harlan Howard sense of patriotism (thank you, Evan, for another wonderful introduction!))
Harlan Howard’s “Uncle Sam (I’m A Patriot)”
Uncle Sam, I work hard every day but there ain’t much left when I draw my pay
Then I hear you’re giving’ those millions away to somebody outside the USA
Uncle Sam, Uncle Sam, Uncle Sam, I’m a patriot; yes, I am
And even though you made me mad as Cane, if you need me, Uncle, just call my name
Now, the little dirt farmer works all of his life
And leaves eight dollars to his kids and his wife
While the big land owner is a millionaire, he made it by lettin’ his land stand bare
Uncle Sam, Uncle Sam…
I get choked up every time I hear the national anthem loud and clear
And though I’ve got a complaint or two, you can write my name in red, white, and blue
Uncle Sam, Uncle Sam…
Uncle Sam, Uncle Sam…
Uncle Sam, Uncle Sam…
I know, I know – the lyrics make it sounds corny, but to hear it sung is to understand it. It’s the Fourth of July and I can’t say I’m particularly proud of my country right now – yes, we have Obama – finally – but we’re still without Universal Healthcare, we’re still shackled to capitalism’s whims, we’re still watching communities and cities like Detroit just funnel away into poverty as opposed to asking Zukin’s q of: “Whose city?” and then working to help recreate these cities into safer & creative environments.
And that’s really a lot of what I’m studying right now in my coursework – though I will say, I’m frustrated by our continuous focus on theory and theory and theory as opposed to more case studies and Dr. John A. Powell (he’s a great academic and activist right now on these issues – I’ll have more on him and his work later on – it’s really progressive & solution-oriented work he’s doing) and applications of theories. I just don’t see much point in spending time on heavy theory during a summer course – how is theoretical argumentation over the natures of “Space” and “Time” really helps me think more critically about ghettoization, white flight, and cultural assimilation versus cultural preservation as determinants of American success and upward mobility. I’m keeping notes & I’m excited to get to share more of them with you both here and when we’re all back at school, because this really is the highlight of all of NYC for me right now.
It’s just miserably and paralyzingly lonely here. What’s the point of going to fireworks alone? What’s the point of going to the museums alone? It all just feels even more polarizing because there’s nobody to turn to and pontificate with, chuckle with, or keep you calm when you get horribly lost the very first day and end up walking around sizzling NYC for four hours while natives snicker behind their hands at you and your map.
Anyway, I don’t mean to be ungrateful or a drag – but I’m ready to be home or back at school with my friends and family. I know this is supposed to be a part of the purpose of this grand Paideia experience. But I’m not learning anything beyond this awful heaviness and my coursework, so far.
Hopefully things will begin looking up soon and I hope things are going better for all of you & your endeavors.
I did just present in class – I was the first presenter and presented a case study over the Kinzua Dam Controversy of the late 1950s and 1960s, revealing just how little Native Americans matter to the greater urban public even still, even today, and why these injustices should outrage all of us
…
I’m afraid this one didn’t go as well as the Monterey presentation though; since I volunteered to go first, I barely had any time to prepare (which, I’m sure my professor (in process of becoming a Dr., Ms. Ariana Camacho) is taking into account) but I just feel weird about it – my information was good but I let myself get so flustered, I went over my time limit and sounded just goofy as could be.
… hopefully things will get better. They certainly could be worse, and I do appreciate all of the perks and blessings of my current situation – but I’m ready for this to be over. I’m so tired of being here already.
I apologize for leaving this entry off on such a dreary, whiny note, but I’m being as honest as I can.
Ciao for now, cool kats
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