Well, we’ve come a full year and half now together, I suppose, and I feel that I may honestly say it’s improved me in ways. Paideia has helped me reconsider myself in many different ways, pointed out prejudices in myself I didn’t know existed and may now work to fix, pointed out for me ways that I might become better aware of the world around me, instilled in me a want to be a better citizen of the globe and of our campus – it’s made me sadder for not being able to study “abroad” with the Lakota natives in South Dakota as originally planned, as it has taught me to treasure the prospects of being put into intercultural situations.
Sadly, the 3 month stay with the American Indians ended up with a price tag of upwards to $12,000, not something we could really afford to toss around for a summer study on top of another three semesters of SU and possibly graduate school. I do get to study at NYU for a few weeks, which is deep and confetti exciting because, well fuck, it’s *New York* baby! And getting to study there will help me with my research for the article I’m working on for a conference/Paideia presentation/capstone, and will also allow me to scope out NYU and Columbia as potential graduate schools, which is a neat opportunity I didn’t think I’d get this school-shopping time around. However, while NY-ing is intercultural in its own unique ways, I think we all know that it’s significantly less so than it would’ve been to be plopped on a reservation and have to live with a foreign-native family for a full three months, touring that part of the world, community service-ing, and keeping up with university classes. So, it’s a bummer with a very excellent alternative, I think.
But I can certainly appreciate Paideia as a wonderful force insofar as making sure I recognized the fullness of that academic and personal loss.
I also have to say though that I miss our group meetings outside of normal class time – I know I was no help with planning those this semester, but, as aforementioned in my last blog, this semester has been a particularly rude bitch at certain times. Really, the grit of this semester and some of our discussions in Paideia have had me reconsidering my decision to double major in places, but I don’t like getting my feet wet without going for the full swim. I guess, I might be in the shit for the moment – excuse all my French by the way, I’m writing this pretty early into the morning :p what is it? 2:30 am, on the nose – but I’m also at the point of no return. Really these next two weeks are going to be insanely crazy with all the studying I’m not used to having to do (I’m more of an essay kinda gal, myself) and for birthdays and choir concerts and four essays (told you, didn’t I?) to boot – it’s insane, and I really wish I had more time for you all and our outside class get togethers and maybe even another community service project.
I do have to say though that I’m immeasurably indebted to my double major though for the article that it’s inspired me to write. So far it’s called “Ginsberg and the Trickster: Howlers”, about looking at Ginsberg’s poetry through the scope of Native American trickster mythology. I’m pretty sure this is going to turn into my big creative works project, I’ve already got about a kajillion (that’s a scientific term) sources for it and about 25 pages (not very good ones, but they’re there all the same) written on it, and I have to say again, I’m jacked up. I’m jacked up about this project almost to the point of my other classes suffering for it – I know my studying has definitely dwindled for working on it, and other essays that should’ve been started a while ago have been put on the backburner until just now so that I might work on it some more. I’ve made a decision though: no more till Christmas break.
I feel like a horrific nerd, but I love it. I love the way it integrates both of my majors and so many different sources and perspectives, and how like Paideia it seems, to me at least, to be.
I hope all of you have similarly make-you-crazy projects in store, and I hope all of you have better/similar good/crazy luck with your study abroad plans. Rachel, we’ll miss you!
Thank you all for being such wonderful founts to learn from and such good people to get to work with -- I like our group. Good work. :]
ciao for now amigos,
moi
Sunday, November 29, 2009
So far...
Looking back over this semester’s Paideia insofar as the shared readings and student-led discussions are concerned, I have to say that I enjoyed doing it this way, just because I felt like we discussed some good and interesting topics – especially in regards to science, way to go, dudes!, and even more especially Steven’s topic. Really, big applause on that reading and that presentation, man, there was something top-notch there and it left me thinking more about the scientific perspective and gave me something teeth-sink-in-able to discuss with people outside of our group of all varying majors.
My only real complaint of how things went down is that the readings for some weeks – and admittedly, even I didn’t give the full week ahead of time buffer – did not give the rest of the group any time to read the material and prepare some sort of decent means of contributing to the discussion. I feel like Paideia is something we all enjoy – otherwise, why stick around, right? – and I know I certainly do, but I also know that it’s my responsibility as your fellow student to come as prepared as possible because the more I know (or think I know :p) then the more I can contribute – and even if you don’t agree with me, at least that way you’ve got something to dispute. Basically, when we’re all able to come prepared and discuss then we’ll all have a better chance of really learning something new and worthwhile from each other. I figured, after all – and may very well be mistaken on this – but I was under the impression that, these presentations weren’t so much a give-us-what-you-know/teach-us moment, this wasn’t story-time, but it was sort of like presenting the group with a hypothesis or faux-thesis statement bolstered by a (scholarly?) source of some kind that the group might all read and then consider/dispute/build upon. – something we can’t well do if we haven’t had ample time to read and consider the work being presented upon.
And really, what’s the fun and point of Paideia if we don’t get something we can really disagree on? – Props to Rachel as well for her topic in that way about vegetarianism. I’m not suggesting that all of our topics should be controversial or radical or argumentative or overly provocative etc etc, because frankly, I don’t think we have a problem with that in our group :p what with the craziness over the Student Forum, sports & DNA, messed up vegans, etc. We do a good job, I think, of embracing weird perspectives.
I have to apologize here if I’ve been less prepared or more on-edge this semester in our group meetings; it’s no excuse, but it’s been a rough semester this time around. I think, for this reason as well, the way we’ve worked it out with these individual readings and presentations has helped me stay on track a bit more with what we’re doing rather than having to hunt through the Newsweek’s as well as read up on some other source as well as, as well as, etc (not that Paideia’s ever been the problem-child class :p) but this arrangement did seem more manageable for me despite my at times crumbly disposition.
I do have a request/suggestion though for maybe next semester. I know we all have to do a big final presentation of some kind for Paideia, and while I appreciate the lower key (though still scholarly and interesting) readings we’ve been doing, I’d also be interested to know more about what you all are thinking about for that project, even if it’s your capstone, I’d like to know more about those too. If anyone here is as big a nerd as I am, I’m jacked up about my capstone and love to chat about it – so I guess what I’m suggesting is that maybe when we have our individual presentations, could the person presenting also take a few minutes to tell us about what they’re thinking about for that presentation or for their capstone? Maybe tell us something they’ve learned lately that’s really intrigued them, something from one of their in-major classes that’s really caught their attention lately, something academic or news-worthy that’s got them jacked up? Really, I’d just be interested to know more about the other little outside specifics of what’s interesting you all.
I hope that made some semblance of sense and that you all really do know how much I appreciate getting to learn with and about all of you.
muchas gracias & ciao for now,
moi
My only real complaint of how things went down is that the readings for some weeks – and admittedly, even I didn’t give the full week ahead of time buffer – did not give the rest of the group any time to read the material and prepare some sort of decent means of contributing to the discussion. I feel like Paideia is something we all enjoy – otherwise, why stick around, right? – and I know I certainly do, but I also know that it’s my responsibility as your fellow student to come as prepared as possible because the more I know (or think I know :p) then the more I can contribute – and even if you don’t agree with me, at least that way you’ve got something to dispute. Basically, when we’re all able to come prepared and discuss then we’ll all have a better chance of really learning something new and worthwhile from each other. I figured, after all – and may very well be mistaken on this – but I was under the impression that, these presentations weren’t so much a give-us-what-you-know/teach-us moment, this wasn’t story-time, but it was sort of like presenting the group with a hypothesis or faux-thesis statement bolstered by a (scholarly?) source of some kind that the group might all read and then consider/dispute/build upon. – something we can’t well do if we haven’t had ample time to read and consider the work being presented upon.
And really, what’s the fun and point of Paideia if we don’t get something we can really disagree on? – Props to Rachel as well for her topic in that way about vegetarianism. I’m not suggesting that all of our topics should be controversial or radical or argumentative or overly provocative etc etc, because frankly, I don’t think we have a problem with that in our group :p what with the craziness over the Student Forum, sports & DNA, messed up vegans, etc. We do a good job, I think, of embracing weird perspectives.
I have to apologize here if I’ve been less prepared or more on-edge this semester in our group meetings; it’s no excuse, but it’s been a rough semester this time around. I think, for this reason as well, the way we’ve worked it out with these individual readings and presentations has helped me stay on track a bit more with what we’re doing rather than having to hunt through the Newsweek’s as well as read up on some other source as well as, as well as, etc (not that Paideia’s ever been the problem-child class :p) but this arrangement did seem more manageable for me despite my at times crumbly disposition.
I do have a request/suggestion though for maybe next semester. I know we all have to do a big final presentation of some kind for Paideia, and while I appreciate the lower key (though still scholarly and interesting) readings we’ve been doing, I’d also be interested to know more about what you all are thinking about for that project, even if it’s your capstone, I’d like to know more about those too. If anyone here is as big a nerd as I am, I’m jacked up about my capstone and love to chat about it – so I guess what I’m suggesting is that maybe when we have our individual presentations, could the person presenting also take a few minutes to tell us about what they’re thinking about for that presentation or for their capstone? Maybe tell us something they’ve learned lately that’s really intrigued them, something from one of their in-major classes that’s really caught their attention lately, something academic or news-worthy that’s got them jacked up? Really, I’d just be interested to know more about the other little outside specifics of what’s interesting you all.
I hope that made some semblance of sense and that you all really do know how much I appreciate getting to learn with and about all of you.
muchas gracias & ciao for now,
moi
Sunday, November 15, 2009
RAIN
Well, I missed the really cool Poe exhibit that went down in Austin, a more academically educational event, I suppose, than this, but I do feel like this was just as educational -- primarily from an intercultural perspective. When I was in high school, I was never well integrated with a diverse culture, mostly WASPs hanging out in a high school full of WASPs, and so SU has been a good move for me, turning me into a wonderfully tolerant person, more open, more understanding, more complex -- all of which I desperately appreciate as I feel it really helps me on my way to becoming a more responsible, more respectable global citizen. Anyway, even though I now have openly gay friends and colleagues and have a bit better of an idea of the struggles they go through from day to day, I must say that spending an evening at RAIN - one of the "gay bars" of our Austin - with a group celebrating a couple of my friends coming out as a gay couple, was something still very much out of my norm. And I think, actually, realizing that that was still out of my norm, still a little bit beyond my complete comfortability, was just as odd as the experience itself.
I've been to clubs before -- none that I'd really desperately enjoyed as I'm more of a close friends small party, gal, myself -- but none like this. They mark you, of course, if you're under 21, scribbling permanent marker all over your hands, confiscating your driver's license for reasons still beyond me, tall skinny men in long skinny jeans and heavily greased faux-hawks looking you up and down to see who's there as a gay, as a straight, as a spectator, as a friend, as a townie, as a vacationing student. You walk in through a dark lobby rimmed with people, waiting for friends, waiting to leave, waiting, and then the lights hit you. Blue light, green, pink, television screens bolted up everywhere while the music -- the normal stuff, froth skimmed right off the pop radio stations -- sped up to adrenaline-shot-chipmunk speed so that they all sounded even more ridiculous, high-pitched and crazy, like the happiness of dancing was fevered and color-blurry in some way. We'd gotten there just a little early so that the only guy dancing was their paid dancer to make other people more comfortable, standing up on the glowing plastic platform stage, lined on side by the bar and on the other side by the DJ and strip pole/cage. Waiters in speedos wandered around with trays filled with neon bright drinks of every color, women or men dressed up to the wilds as men or women filled the place, more kids like us just dressed up began to mill around, the whole event unnerving and exciting all of us, gay and straight alike, so that we all huddled together in the back for a short while looking bewildered and helpless with a vague air of attempting to be cool.
When we finally began dancing -- mine especially ridiculous considering the fact that keeping a beat to me is sort of akin to trying to keep still a small child on speed -- it improved for us all, I think, allowing us to meld into something more comfortable, a sort of strange invisibility on the glowing stage where we'd felt so naked and displayed while huddling in the darkened back. Being there, dancing where men danced together and kissed and held together, where the women held hands and smiled and never looked anymore self-conscious than we did, where everyone simply seemed happy, I realized slowly I felt more comfortable there than in any of the "straight clubs" where everyone seemed to feel such a need to be gritty and cool, to make sure that they were definitely straight-shooting whereas here the competition was downplayed for the idea of being comfortable with yourself and with others.
The biggest part of it, though, I think, is still the fact that it unnerved me at all. I really do consider myself a pretty liberal person, pretty accepting, especially considering how out of this world excited I was to be there for my friends in celebrating their freedom to be together in love --
I suppose it really just revealed to me how segregated our culture continues to be, how hetero-normative everyone continues to be despite all of the media-hype, organizations, and social work put forward lately. Of course the awkwardness faded quickly and gladly, but it made me wonder, given all the lectures I've now been to regarding gender and gender equality and sexuality and sexual orientation equality, given all the classes and studies and political arguments surrounding the issues, why is it that a fairly liberal woman at a fairly liberal school in the most liberal city in Texas (which, I guess, isn't saying much, oh conservative-stuffed Texas) would feel awkward around openly gay people when there for the purpose of celebrating a person's freedom to be openly gay? When will everyone be able to accept love in all forms as love and not as "gay" or "straight" or "inter-racial"? When will this cease to be a culture-shock and begin to be the normalcy it should be?
I've been to clubs before -- none that I'd really desperately enjoyed as I'm more of a close friends small party, gal, myself -- but none like this. They mark you, of course, if you're under 21, scribbling permanent marker all over your hands, confiscating your driver's license for reasons still beyond me, tall skinny men in long skinny jeans and heavily greased faux-hawks looking you up and down to see who's there as a gay, as a straight, as a spectator, as a friend, as a townie, as a vacationing student. You walk in through a dark lobby rimmed with people, waiting for friends, waiting to leave, waiting, and then the lights hit you. Blue light, green, pink, television screens bolted up everywhere while the music -- the normal stuff, froth skimmed right off the pop radio stations -- sped up to adrenaline-shot-chipmunk speed so that they all sounded even more ridiculous, high-pitched and crazy, like the happiness of dancing was fevered and color-blurry in some way. We'd gotten there just a little early so that the only guy dancing was their paid dancer to make other people more comfortable, standing up on the glowing plastic platform stage, lined on side by the bar and on the other side by the DJ and strip pole/cage. Waiters in speedos wandered around with trays filled with neon bright drinks of every color, women or men dressed up to the wilds as men or women filled the place, more kids like us just dressed up began to mill around, the whole event unnerving and exciting all of us, gay and straight alike, so that we all huddled together in the back for a short while looking bewildered and helpless with a vague air of attempting to be cool.
When we finally began dancing -- mine especially ridiculous considering the fact that keeping a beat to me is sort of akin to trying to keep still a small child on speed -- it improved for us all, I think, allowing us to meld into something more comfortable, a sort of strange invisibility on the glowing stage where we'd felt so naked and displayed while huddling in the darkened back. Being there, dancing where men danced together and kissed and held together, where the women held hands and smiled and never looked anymore self-conscious than we did, where everyone simply seemed happy, I realized slowly I felt more comfortable there than in any of the "straight clubs" where everyone seemed to feel such a need to be gritty and cool, to make sure that they were definitely straight-shooting whereas here the competition was downplayed for the idea of being comfortable with yourself and with others.
The biggest part of it, though, I think, is still the fact that it unnerved me at all. I really do consider myself a pretty liberal person, pretty accepting, especially considering how out of this world excited I was to be there for my friends in celebrating their freedom to be together in love --
I suppose it really just revealed to me how segregated our culture continues to be, how hetero-normative everyone continues to be despite all of the media-hype, organizations, and social work put forward lately. Of course the awkwardness faded quickly and gladly, but it made me wonder, given all the lectures I've now been to regarding gender and gender equality and sexuality and sexual orientation equality, given all the classes and studies and political arguments surrounding the issues, why is it that a fairly liberal woman at a fairly liberal school in the most liberal city in Texas (which, I guess, isn't saying much, oh conservative-stuffed Texas) would feel awkward around openly gay people when there for the purpose of celebrating a person's freedom to be openly gay? When will everyone be able to accept love in all forms as love and not as "gay" or "straight" or "inter-racial"? When will this cease to be a culture-shock and begin to be the normalcy it should be?
Saturday, October 24, 2009
On Campus Event with Dr. Cloud
Dr. Cloud – “You are a scary woman.”
Framing the Enemy in Conservative Hate Mail
Stepping in to Olin 110 was a pleasant surprise in itself as I’ve never been to a guest lecture so crowded before, a feeling that was soon to be succeeded by the similarly pleasant surprise of Dr. Cloud’s motherly demeanor and thought provoking material. Sitting in bright red with a sunny smile, she quickly cut through her mask of cookie-harmlessness by presenting us with a hand-out of the war being waged against her via followers of the hard conservative media and an impressive thesis where she attempted to explain this phenomenon as “a social movement strategy [called] “framing by foil”, or establishing one’s own identity by negatively framing another” (Cloud).
Going on to explain this means of identity establishment in terms of the three main categories of hate mail she’s received over the years: “scholar as elitist intellectual, the Leftist as national traitor, and the feminist/lesbian as gender traitor”, she argued that these foils only held power or sustainability while kept under the privatizing wraps of her own email inbox (Cloud). It’s a sort of personal identity reassurance or reaffirmation that was actually best summed up by a fellow lecture-goer, Evan Brewer, as something so obvious most people wouldn’t normally think of it, that to label someone with something negative is to silently suggest that they are the opposite. Essentially, this realization means that people attacking Dr. Cloud with rhetoric and ideas adopted from the conservative media are not simply attacking her because of a differing of opinion but because – as is made clear by their method of attaining said rhetoric and ideas through a media source – they must have some form of labeling and something to stand up against in order to defend, justify, and reaffirm their security within their own media-constructed identities.
Her lecture, very orderly, very clear, very professional, really did stun me as did her coping mechanism of laughter as I read through some of the emails she received in response to her own liberal perspective and lifestyle. Emails that threatened her and her daughter’s safety, emails linking her with Hitler, emails suggesting that she should have sex with men, others suggesting she should go live in the Middle East or simply improve her manners, and even one which suggested that a student of hers should throw acid in her face – a litany of hatred and useless attack that not only inspired fear but did nothing to further or aid the conservative cause. It really did frighten and baffle me that there are people out there who believe that this sort of hostility is necessary and even helpful in explaining or defending a cause, highlighting for me how paper thin their arguments and their own self-security with those arguments must be. Really, for me it begged the question of just how much of their personal identities were carved out of the larger group identity of the conservative movement as defined and bolstered by certain medias (such as Fox news) and why they would feel empowered by such a crutch to self-definition that leaves no room for compromise or concession – by something so frighteningly brittle that it must tear down even a college professor from voicing an opinion.
Of course, what surprised me even further was the fact that once Dr. Cloud brought these emails out into the light of day and public eye, immediately people began to recant and apologize. If something is so central to a person’s own identity and belief system that they would feel compelled to send hate mail and participate in public medias that encourage such responses, then why would they be so unwilling to have that trained response be put before public scrutiny? If someone believes they’re right that passionately and yet is able to step back at the first suggestion of further opposition, it suggests to me that perhaps they never really believed they were right to begin with, perhaps they never really thought of an honest opposing view as having a face connected to it, perhaps they assumed that all opposition was in fact some quiet phantom as the hard conservative media would have it portrayed. – Why else would anyone assume that such outrageous opinion and hate would be fostered and kept quiet? And I suppose this is what really gripped me about the lecture and what I would’ve liked to hear more about: about personal/individual identities being constructed and dependent upon realities created by certain, specific medias.
peace out for now, amigos
Framing the Enemy in Conservative Hate Mail
Stepping in to Olin 110 was a pleasant surprise in itself as I’ve never been to a guest lecture so crowded before, a feeling that was soon to be succeeded by the similarly pleasant surprise of Dr. Cloud’s motherly demeanor and thought provoking material. Sitting in bright red with a sunny smile, she quickly cut through her mask of cookie-harmlessness by presenting us with a hand-out of the war being waged against her via followers of the hard conservative media and an impressive thesis where she attempted to explain this phenomenon as “a social movement strategy [called] “framing by foil”, or establishing one’s own identity by negatively framing another” (Cloud).
Going on to explain this means of identity establishment in terms of the three main categories of hate mail she’s received over the years: “scholar as elitist intellectual, the Leftist as national traitor, and the feminist/lesbian as gender traitor”, she argued that these foils only held power or sustainability while kept under the privatizing wraps of her own email inbox (Cloud). It’s a sort of personal identity reassurance or reaffirmation that was actually best summed up by a fellow lecture-goer, Evan Brewer, as something so obvious most people wouldn’t normally think of it, that to label someone with something negative is to silently suggest that they are the opposite. Essentially, this realization means that people attacking Dr. Cloud with rhetoric and ideas adopted from the conservative media are not simply attacking her because of a differing of opinion but because – as is made clear by their method of attaining said rhetoric and ideas through a media source – they must have some form of labeling and something to stand up against in order to defend, justify, and reaffirm their security within their own media-constructed identities.
Her lecture, very orderly, very clear, very professional, really did stun me as did her coping mechanism of laughter as I read through some of the emails she received in response to her own liberal perspective and lifestyle. Emails that threatened her and her daughter’s safety, emails linking her with Hitler, emails suggesting that she should have sex with men, others suggesting she should go live in the Middle East or simply improve her manners, and even one which suggested that a student of hers should throw acid in her face – a litany of hatred and useless attack that not only inspired fear but did nothing to further or aid the conservative cause. It really did frighten and baffle me that there are people out there who believe that this sort of hostility is necessary and even helpful in explaining or defending a cause, highlighting for me how paper thin their arguments and their own self-security with those arguments must be. Really, for me it begged the question of just how much of their personal identities were carved out of the larger group identity of the conservative movement as defined and bolstered by certain medias (such as Fox news) and why they would feel empowered by such a crutch to self-definition that leaves no room for compromise or concession – by something so frighteningly brittle that it must tear down even a college professor from voicing an opinion.
Of course, what surprised me even further was the fact that once Dr. Cloud brought these emails out into the light of day and public eye, immediately people began to recant and apologize. If something is so central to a person’s own identity and belief system that they would feel compelled to send hate mail and participate in public medias that encourage such responses, then why would they be so unwilling to have that trained response be put before public scrutiny? If someone believes they’re right that passionately and yet is able to step back at the first suggestion of further opposition, it suggests to me that perhaps they never really believed they were right to begin with, perhaps they never really thought of an honest opposing view as having a face connected to it, perhaps they assumed that all opposition was in fact some quiet phantom as the hard conservative media would have it portrayed. – Why else would anyone assume that such outrageous opinion and hate would be fostered and kept quiet? And I suppose this is what really gripped me about the lecture and what I would’ve liked to hear more about: about personal/individual identities being constructed and dependent upon realities created by certain, specific medias.
peace out for now, amigos
Friday, August 28, 2009
for now
1.
Well, I really liked the idea of everyone swapping off picking articles for the rest of the group to read and then lead a discussion over it during the next meeting. I just think the idea sounds manageable as well as thoroughly Paideia-esque, finally give me a good look into my classmates’ interests and majors and how what they’re studying is most important and meaningful to them. Then, I suppose, from that discussion we could sort of lead ourselves into those bigger-picture discussions of how the article/info could be applicable/important/relevant to our own individual studies and majors – ex. How something from Steven’s science major could fit in with my American studies major, etc. That just sounds deliciously exciting to me considering that my favorite part of my classes is how they all fit and converse with each other. When we cover a term two different ways in two different classes (or more!), I swear I just get the happy-jitters like the world suddenly turned into a scoop of ice cream on the universe waffle cone. When I’m able to see how one idea can flow into another seemingly unrelated one, that’s when I remember that what I’m doing as an individual is worth something to the rest of the world as a whole.
2.
As far as civic engagement is concerned, no, I haven’t started any on my own so far this semester A) I’ve become busy already with schoolwork B) it, sadly, hadn’t even occurred to me to start thinking about that yet, and C) I’m generally too self-involved with my work to think too broadly on what else I should be doing as far as Betterment is concerned – a depressing and embarrassing truth, but a truth nonetheless. Now, any civic engagement we do decide to do, I’d prefer to do in some sort of group just because it gives me that extra umf! to get it done and get it done well. As far as what civic engagement I think we should do… well, I really enjoyed working with the Boys and Girls’ Club last year, but I suppose we could do a fundraiser or something for some other organization or get involved with another group’s project – I know a friend of mine has started up a young after-school program for some kids at the local elementary school and that she could always use helping hands with that if anyone was interested.
Working with children is not my forte or even really my preference but I’m at a sad loss of ideas when it comes to thinking up a service project that could plug in with one of my majors. I mean, in my intercultural project for this summer I’m going to be doing community service work at an Indian reservation in South Dakota, and in many obvious ways that will help me with my American Studies major (especially since my capstone will cover much of that experience, I’m sure) and with my Paideia experience insofar as it thoroughly exposes me to a culture completely alien to my own (sadly, ironically enough). But I just don’t know, ultimately, what would be the best course of action here for us as a group this semester.
3.
I’d like my Paideia creative works project to be my capstone project for my American Studies major since that capstone will be completely of my choosing – basically just an Independent Study resulting in a 30+ page paper (and a presentation at the Student Works Symposium, most likely). Right now the idea I’m most in love with is focusing around Native American Mythology in Modern American Literature. I still need to do some bushwhack narrowing down of that topic but I’m about 303% confident that’s what my project will be over. I think it’ll be perfect really, because it brings both of my majors into play, allows me to begin working on it now (though I’ll probably officially begin-finish it by the end of senior year), gets me generally freakishly jacked up excited every time I start thinking about it, and will force me to continue to delve into new cultures and Paideia-esque planes. I guess I’ll refer mostly to Dr. Bednar on the project since he’s the head of the American Studies department as well as my advisor but I expect I’ll consult multiple professors on my work. – For now though, my biggest job is just to breathe in as much research material as possible and hone in on the sweetness from there.
4.
Intercultural Experience! – I’m meeting with Ms. Mennicke once again this semester to iron out any left over wrinkles, but it’s been pretty much hashed out that I’m going to be spending this upcoming summer in South Dakota on an Indian reservation (the Lakota Indians). I’ll live with a Native American family, attend classes at their university, do community service projects with them, and present a this-is-what-I-learned at the end of it all --- sounds delicious, no? I get pumped up just thinkin’ about it! :D
It ties, obviously, in with my American Studies major, but will also help with my English major since I hope to learn and get a-hold of more of their literatures while I’m there, and maybe even take a few of their English classes. I should be getting like 12-15 credit hours for my stay there since it’ll be the entire summer and not just 3-6 weeks. But like I said, I’m meeting with the Mennicke Wonderlady again soon to figure out all the little nit-pickies of the coolness.
peace out pour ahora, muchachos
Well, I really liked the idea of everyone swapping off picking articles for the rest of the group to read and then lead a discussion over it during the next meeting. I just think the idea sounds manageable as well as thoroughly Paideia-esque, finally give me a good look into my classmates’ interests and majors and how what they’re studying is most important and meaningful to them. Then, I suppose, from that discussion we could sort of lead ourselves into those bigger-picture discussions of how the article/info could be applicable/important/relevant to our own individual studies and majors – ex. How something from Steven’s science major could fit in with my American studies major, etc. That just sounds deliciously exciting to me considering that my favorite part of my classes is how they all fit and converse with each other. When we cover a term two different ways in two different classes (or more!), I swear I just get the happy-jitters like the world suddenly turned into a scoop of ice cream on the universe waffle cone. When I’m able to see how one idea can flow into another seemingly unrelated one, that’s when I remember that what I’m doing as an individual is worth something to the rest of the world as a whole.
2.
As far as civic engagement is concerned, no, I haven’t started any on my own so far this semester A) I’ve become busy already with schoolwork B) it, sadly, hadn’t even occurred to me to start thinking about that yet, and C) I’m generally too self-involved with my work to think too broadly on what else I should be doing as far as Betterment is concerned – a depressing and embarrassing truth, but a truth nonetheless. Now, any civic engagement we do decide to do, I’d prefer to do in some sort of group just because it gives me that extra umf! to get it done and get it done well. As far as what civic engagement I think we should do… well, I really enjoyed working with the Boys and Girls’ Club last year, but I suppose we could do a fundraiser or something for some other organization or get involved with another group’s project – I know a friend of mine has started up a young after-school program for some kids at the local elementary school and that she could always use helping hands with that if anyone was interested.
Working with children is not my forte or even really my preference but I’m at a sad loss of ideas when it comes to thinking up a service project that could plug in with one of my majors. I mean, in my intercultural project for this summer I’m going to be doing community service work at an Indian reservation in South Dakota, and in many obvious ways that will help me with my American Studies major (especially since my capstone will cover much of that experience, I’m sure) and with my Paideia experience insofar as it thoroughly exposes me to a culture completely alien to my own (sadly, ironically enough). But I just don’t know, ultimately, what would be the best course of action here for us as a group this semester.
3.
I’d like my Paideia creative works project to be my capstone project for my American Studies major since that capstone will be completely of my choosing – basically just an Independent Study resulting in a 30+ page paper (and a presentation at the Student Works Symposium, most likely). Right now the idea I’m most in love with is focusing around Native American Mythology in Modern American Literature. I still need to do some bushwhack narrowing down of that topic but I’m about 303% confident that’s what my project will be over. I think it’ll be perfect really, because it brings both of my majors into play, allows me to begin working on it now (though I’ll probably officially begin-finish it by the end of senior year), gets me generally freakishly jacked up excited every time I start thinking about it, and will force me to continue to delve into new cultures and Paideia-esque planes. I guess I’ll refer mostly to Dr. Bednar on the project since he’s the head of the American Studies department as well as my advisor but I expect I’ll consult multiple professors on my work. – For now though, my biggest job is just to breathe in as much research material as possible and hone in on the sweetness from there.
4.
Intercultural Experience! – I’m meeting with Ms. Mennicke once again this semester to iron out any left over wrinkles, but it’s been pretty much hashed out that I’m going to be spending this upcoming summer in South Dakota on an Indian reservation (the Lakota Indians). I’ll live with a Native American family, attend classes at their university, do community service projects with them, and present a this-is-what-I-learned at the end of it all --- sounds delicious, no? I get pumped up just thinkin’ about it! :D
It ties, obviously, in with my American Studies major, but will also help with my English major since I hope to learn and get a-hold of more of their literatures while I’m there, and maybe even take a few of their English classes. I should be getting like 12-15 credit hours for my stay there since it’ll be the entire summer and not just 3-6 weeks. But like I said, I’m meeting with the Mennicke Wonderlady again soon to figure out all the little nit-pickies of the coolness.
peace out pour ahora, muchachos
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Virgins, Texans, Chillin's, and T.I.
So, I ended up enjoying my stay at the symposium a bit more than expected -- always good when learning tastes better than usual, right? -- and so I ended up checkin' out three oral presentations (actually a few more but they weren't life-altering, I felt :p (Brook's being exempt from this, of course)):
"The Virgin and the Unicorn:The Conception and Birth of an Original Performance Piece in Smolyan, Bulgaria" by Kinsey Keck, DELILAH FUCKIN' YALE GOIN' DOMINGUEZ!!!, and Emily Everidge
"Deep in the Heart of Texas Monthly: Glossy Cowboys and the Performance of Texanness" by Brennan K. Peel
"Comedic Intervention: A Rhetorical Criticism of T.I.'s Road to Redemption on MTV" by Alex Caple
I then also went and checked out the posters and was taken by Andrea Plybon's "Mind Over Music" and Nicholas Parker's "Torture: Is there a Justification?"
I'll go ahead and give my spiel over the oral presentations first -- but to just preface over the oral presentation format in general: I hate the damned only-ten-minutes-or-death increments -- how am I supposed to learn anything in ten minutes and more than that, have an intelligent question to ask over the material that I haven't learned?
This complaint follows me for everyone of these otherwise fascinating topics. Delilah's presentation was about her group's experience with traveling abroad to Bulgaria to work on a truly liberal arts form of acting. They had all spent time researching different classic styles of acting (my favorite being the Trickster, although I didn't get much on that given, argh, the time limit), paying especially close attention to images of actors and acting techniques that they found in the form of everything from pottery to paintings to manuals. Then they all met up in Bulgaria -- the mythological origin of theatre -- and they, along with dozens of other students from all over the place, came together and quilted up what they'd learned from these different styles to apply them to a single story written by Leonardo DaVinci: The Virgin and the Unicorn.
How cool is THAT?
to learn how to move from stagnant images
a patchwork of the ancient to see a mosaic in the new
groups acting as a whole, a unified member
I don't know why, but I just haven't been able to get over the idea of learning how to move from studying an image -- something doomed to never move again, something alien in its oldness teaching modern youth how to contort their bodies in perpetually shifting and flowing spaces
a quilt of theatrical proportions :]
As for the Glossy Cowboys, I actually hadn't planned on going to this one but having a recommendation from my new advisor, Dr. Bednar, (and seeing as I have almost no fellow American Studies majors) I decided to drop by and see what Brennan was up to. Turns out, it was a far more fascinating subject than I'd anticipated -- again, pleasant and tasty.
He started out with three major areas of focus:
the magazine Texas Monthly in and of itself
the tension it creates with actual Texans
and
the ways to try and resolve this tension
The magazine claims to be "the NATIONAL voice of Texas" and yet it also defines Texanness as the upscale and the cowboy -- two things that the majority of Texans are not, seeing as the majority of Texans are poor urbanites. Did you know TX has the highest percentage of uninsured people in the country?
And yet the magazine is the 116th highest grossing magazine in the country (I think, perhaps just Texas, but I'm pretty sure it was throughout the entire country) and won the National Magazine Award in 2003 proclaiming it the best magazine in the entire country for that year -- the Pulitzer of magazine awards, effectively.
But what really got me going was this idea that maybe this is just a small, much more polarized example of the tension within the entirety of America where the bourgeoisie keep throwing out propaganda for the lifestyles obtainable only by the rich and powerful while the majority of Americans are middle class to poor and just struggling to get by let alone purchase $7,000 cowboy boots just because John Travolta made it cool.
Then, of course, there's the coolness of the identity paradox that Brook C. came up with (and which Brennan very astutely addressed) about people finding themselves stuck between trying to be individualistic by not being Texan while at the same time trying to be Texan so as to not conform to the rest of the country -- a struggle between individual, regional, and mass cultural identities -- SO NEAT!
Hooray for the American Studies majors! :D
And then there was Alex Caple and T.I.
Now, I'll admit, I had no idea who T.I. was before this presentation but Alex is just such a fantastic presenter, speaking so conversationally and confidently and clearly, very easy to follow. So I ended up learning about T.I. the rapper/businessman who was arrested for illegal gun possession and then praised all up and down MTV for his contributions to his community even though it's all part of a mandatory community service sentence on top of his potential jail time. Essentially the presentation focused on the ad campaigns released about T.I. and how the televising of his community service made him more of a comedic hero rather than a redemptive thug or shameful convict.
Awesome. He hasn't even served his time yet and he's already being praised for his rehabilitation. That's definitely a role model I want for my children.
Then, of course, there's the poster presentations, which, I'll admit now, I definitely didn't enjoy as much as the oral presentations. But I paid some special attention to Andrea Plybon's "Mind Over Music" because I actually helped out with that one a bit (a VERY tiny bit) at its inception. It's a really awesome program, similar to what our group has been doing with the kids at the Boys and Girls Club where she goes to a local elementary school and stays after with some kids and works with them to put music in a multitude of different settings and thus make it more accessible for them, more sensible and useful. This is a particularly important and even noble program, I think, since music programs all over the country are hurting right now -- something that makes absofreakinlutely no sense to me given the sudden concern everyone seems to be feelin' for kids' failing math scores. C'est la vie, oui?
As far as the Torture board is concerned, I just thought it was neat considering our earlier discussions about torture warrants and whether or not those were justifiable. :] everything's connected, right?
The web of our lives is of a mingled yarn, good and ill together -- Mr. Shakespeare
peace out for now, cool kats
"The Virgin and the Unicorn:The Conception and Birth of an Original Performance Piece in Smolyan, Bulgaria" by Kinsey Keck, DELILAH FUCKIN' YALE GOIN' DOMINGUEZ!!!, and Emily Everidge
"Deep in the Heart of Texas Monthly: Glossy Cowboys and the Performance of Texanness" by Brennan K. Peel
"Comedic Intervention: A Rhetorical Criticism of T.I.'s Road to Redemption on MTV" by Alex Caple
I then also went and checked out the posters and was taken by Andrea Plybon's "Mind Over Music" and Nicholas Parker's "Torture: Is there a Justification?"
I'll go ahead and give my spiel over the oral presentations first -- but to just preface over the oral presentation format in general: I hate the damned only-ten-minutes-or-death increments -- how am I supposed to learn anything in ten minutes and more than that, have an intelligent question to ask over the material that I haven't learned?
This complaint follows me for everyone of these otherwise fascinating topics. Delilah's presentation was about her group's experience with traveling abroad to Bulgaria to work on a truly liberal arts form of acting. They had all spent time researching different classic styles of acting (my favorite being the Trickster, although I didn't get much on that given, argh, the time limit), paying especially close attention to images of actors and acting techniques that they found in the form of everything from pottery to paintings to manuals. Then they all met up in Bulgaria -- the mythological origin of theatre -- and they, along with dozens of other students from all over the place, came together and quilted up what they'd learned from these different styles to apply them to a single story written by Leonardo DaVinci: The Virgin and the Unicorn.
How cool is THAT?
to learn how to move from stagnant images
a patchwork of the ancient to see a mosaic in the new
groups acting as a whole, a unified member
I don't know why, but I just haven't been able to get over the idea of learning how to move from studying an image -- something doomed to never move again, something alien in its oldness teaching modern youth how to contort their bodies in perpetually shifting and flowing spaces
a quilt of theatrical proportions :]
As for the Glossy Cowboys, I actually hadn't planned on going to this one but having a recommendation from my new advisor, Dr. Bednar, (and seeing as I have almost no fellow American Studies majors) I decided to drop by and see what Brennan was up to. Turns out, it was a far more fascinating subject than I'd anticipated -- again, pleasant and tasty.
He started out with three major areas of focus:
the magazine Texas Monthly in and of itself
the tension it creates with actual Texans
and
the ways to try and resolve this tension
The magazine claims to be "the NATIONAL voice of Texas" and yet it also defines Texanness as the upscale and the cowboy -- two things that the majority of Texans are not, seeing as the majority of Texans are poor urbanites. Did you know TX has the highest percentage of uninsured people in the country?
And yet the magazine is the 116th highest grossing magazine in the country (I think, perhaps just Texas, but I'm pretty sure it was throughout the entire country) and won the National Magazine Award in 2003 proclaiming it the best magazine in the entire country for that year -- the Pulitzer of magazine awards, effectively.
But what really got me going was this idea that maybe this is just a small, much more polarized example of the tension within the entirety of America where the bourgeoisie keep throwing out propaganda for the lifestyles obtainable only by the rich and powerful while the majority of Americans are middle class to poor and just struggling to get by let alone purchase $7,000 cowboy boots just because John Travolta made it cool.
Then, of course, there's the coolness of the identity paradox that Brook C. came up with (and which Brennan very astutely addressed) about people finding themselves stuck between trying to be individualistic by not being Texan while at the same time trying to be Texan so as to not conform to the rest of the country -- a struggle between individual, regional, and mass cultural identities -- SO NEAT!
Hooray for the American Studies majors! :D
And then there was Alex Caple and T.I.
Now, I'll admit, I had no idea who T.I. was before this presentation but Alex is just such a fantastic presenter, speaking so conversationally and confidently and clearly, very easy to follow. So I ended up learning about T.I. the rapper/businessman who was arrested for illegal gun possession and then praised all up and down MTV for his contributions to his community even though it's all part of a mandatory community service sentence on top of his potential jail time. Essentially the presentation focused on the ad campaigns released about T.I. and how the televising of his community service made him more of a comedic hero rather than a redemptive thug or shameful convict.
Awesome. He hasn't even served his time yet and he's already being praised for his rehabilitation. That's definitely a role model I want for my children.
Then, of course, there's the poster presentations, which, I'll admit now, I definitely didn't enjoy as much as the oral presentations. But I paid some special attention to Andrea Plybon's "Mind Over Music" because I actually helped out with that one a bit (a VERY tiny bit) at its inception. It's a really awesome program, similar to what our group has been doing with the kids at the Boys and Girls Club where she goes to a local elementary school and stays after with some kids and works with them to put music in a multitude of different settings and thus make it more accessible for them, more sensible and useful. This is a particularly important and even noble program, I think, since music programs all over the country are hurting right now -- something that makes absofreakinlutely no sense to me given the sudden concern everyone seems to be feelin' for kids' failing math scores. C'est la vie, oui?
As far as the Torture board is concerned, I just thought it was neat considering our earlier discussions about torture warrants and whether or not those were justifiable. :] everything's connected, right?
The web of our lives is of a mingled yarn, good and ill together -- Mr. Shakespeare
peace out for now, cool kats
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Matt & Eli
Well, I didn’t see anyone I knew at first desperate-look-over of the crowd, so I ended up taking a seat surrounded by two empty seats – one of which was quickly filled by a girl who smelt obnoxiously horrible as only a pothead can. However, despite the watering of my eyes and the murky discomfort settling down in my lungs, when I looked over and saw Mr. Clare chatting with some of the professors I was absolutely taken and reassured by his wide, absolute smile. My first thought was: what’s his disability? And as for Matt? Her voice stunned me because my first take had been that she, too, was a man. But both of these questions, pleasantly and grumpily, were answered in their own ways.
I, personally, really do find it ridiculous that we have labels that force people into strict categories: male or female, straight or gay, healthy or disabled – after all, before the straight and gay distinction men were sleeping all over the place and nobody had any qualms with it. In fact, in Rome (back in the day) wives were kept primarily to run the house and have children and it was the male/male relationships that really mattered and established you socially. However, when Matt mentioned her nephew the “pft” kind of thought did pass my mind: it would sound pretty ridiculous for the doctor to say: “Congratulations! It has a penis!” vs. “Congratulations! It’s a boy!”
I did have a strong reaction, however, to the story about the Latino boy who was shot in middle school – the fact that the reasons for the murder were prematurely ironed out to hate crime because he was gay really pisses me off. This was absolutely unfair to both him/her and the boy who killed him. I was actually discussing this with a friend of mine who hadn’t gone to the lecture but who had read about that particular case before and he quickly corrected me that it wasn’t a hate crime but one more of desperation as the boy considered himself harassed, stalked, and verbally/emotionally abused by the other boy. This ironing out of all the other complexities and layers that make us who we are strips us of our humanity – by chiseling that boy down to merely “because he was gay” this stamped his entire being with nothing but the word “gay”, forcing him out of his name, personality, hobbies, friends, familial relationships, race, religion, everything.
I did disagree, however, with Matt when she mentioned the definition of racism that she liked – racism: a vulnerability to premature death. I think that is far, far, far too broad a statement to link it directly to racism. Now, I know a lot of my disagreements on this sort of thing will be (perhaps not by my fellow Paideia members, but by “other people”) answered with: she only feels that way because she’s a straight, middle-class, white woman and thus can’t possibly understand because she obviously hasn’t suffered.
Let me make this perfectly clear: so long as hatred exists – we all suffer.
It stunned me down to my tingly-bones when Matt announced that being a black person meant that things (acts of violence and hatred) happen all the time. It stunned me down to the rest of my tingly-bones when Eli announced that every month at least one person is murdered because of transphobia (hatred of those who are transgender). I know this’ll just sound school-girlish but I don’t understand how anyone can live with themselves for being so grimed up and clogged with ugliness as to feel and act in those ways toward another human being.
Why don’t we just call each other human beings and accept that our differences are OUR differences – and maybe we like them.
I, personally, really do find it ridiculous that we have labels that force people into strict categories: male or female, straight or gay, healthy or disabled – after all, before the straight and gay distinction men were sleeping all over the place and nobody had any qualms with it. In fact, in Rome (back in the day) wives were kept primarily to run the house and have children and it was the male/male relationships that really mattered and established you socially. However, when Matt mentioned her nephew the “pft” kind of thought did pass my mind: it would sound pretty ridiculous for the doctor to say: “Congratulations! It has a penis!” vs. “Congratulations! It’s a boy!”
I did have a strong reaction, however, to the story about the Latino boy who was shot in middle school – the fact that the reasons for the murder were prematurely ironed out to hate crime because he was gay really pisses me off. This was absolutely unfair to both him/her and the boy who killed him. I was actually discussing this with a friend of mine who hadn’t gone to the lecture but who had read about that particular case before and he quickly corrected me that it wasn’t a hate crime but one more of desperation as the boy considered himself harassed, stalked, and verbally/emotionally abused by the other boy. This ironing out of all the other complexities and layers that make us who we are strips us of our humanity – by chiseling that boy down to merely “because he was gay” this stamped his entire being with nothing but the word “gay”, forcing him out of his name, personality, hobbies, friends, familial relationships, race, religion, everything.
I did disagree, however, with Matt when she mentioned the definition of racism that she liked – racism: a vulnerability to premature death. I think that is far, far, far too broad a statement to link it directly to racism. Now, I know a lot of my disagreements on this sort of thing will be (perhaps not by my fellow Paideia members, but by “other people”) answered with: she only feels that way because she’s a straight, middle-class, white woman and thus can’t possibly understand because she obviously hasn’t suffered.
Let me make this perfectly clear: so long as hatred exists – we all suffer.
It stunned me down to my tingly-bones when Matt announced that being a black person meant that things (acts of violence and hatred) happen all the time. It stunned me down to the rest of my tingly-bones when Eli announced that every month at least one person is murdered because of transphobia (hatred of those who are transgender). I know this’ll just sound school-girlish but I don’t understand how anyone can live with themselves for being so grimed up and clogged with ugliness as to feel and act in those ways toward another human being.
Why don’t we just call each other human beings and accept that our differences are OUR differences – and maybe we like them.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
A Smile A Day Keeps Kids From Doin' Crazy Shit -- Mostly
Looking back over my volunteer days at the Boys and Girls club, I feel a suddenly much more intense respect for the crazy crazy crazy (but good ) people who work there on a daily basis – who work there on a daily basis cheerfully. Those are a fantastic bunch of kids, don’t get me wrong, Ella’s granddaughter hangs out there, after all, but man oh man, some of them need attention so badly that they frighten me for what their home life must be like – either they’re being neglected or their poor parents are neglecting themselves for trying to give these kids the attention they need/demand. It’s not just an ADD/ADHD sort of situation, I’ve grown up alongside those kids, this is a whole ‘notha level of oh-my-goodness-don’t-do-that!
Just as a warning: watch out for little Jeremy! He’s cuter than a broken button parade and doesn’t seem to understand the fact that he is breakable as well.
Hey, look how far back I can twist my head!
I can do that!
Hey, watch me flip!
Hey, watch me do some other freakin’ crazy stunt on a hard, tiled floor in socks!
It’s maddening when all you wanna do is have a good time and suddenly you realize the kid could’ve just brained himself. Oy vey!
On a happier note, the kids actually do listen to you and learn from you whether it seems like it or not. We had multiple kids who, by the end of it, could remember the names and way to do certain Tai Chi and Yoga moves and recognized and got better at some of the gymnastics moves and dances – we actually had kids requesting specific exercises by the end of it and even if they performed it incorrectly every time, it was an educational impression, a confidence builder for both them and myself.
I recall not ever wanting to go there by myself at the start of all this – and now?
Now, knowing the kind of welcome these kids would give me, I’d gladly do whatever I could for them, alone or in a group setting. Save working there on a more permanent basis, of course. I’m sure this affection is one heavily nurtured by the fact that I was able to leave, the same sort most babysitter’s feel for infants, or preteens feel for most relatives.
Be as involved and happy about things as possible, don’t be bogged down if there’s one or two (or, lets face it, five or six) kids who aren’t really paying attention or participating, because the ones who are participating are depending upon your continuance and good attitude to keep them in the game, to help them justify to themselves and their friends to keep in the game. It can be very easy to get frustrated with the levels of disorder and craziness going on with the kids, but that only makes your enthusiasm about some semblance of structure all the more important. Let the harshness and reprimands come from the B&G employee(s) that’ll be there shadowing you – if you become the ones trying to control and enforce then the kids won’t be as excited to see you, after all, you’re not there everyday to be a full role model where those sorts of moments are quickly forgotten, you’re labeled quickly in their minds and I think that our group was very, very good about keeping constantly involved and keeping constant smiles on our faces, even if we were correcting someone or trying to dissuade Jeremy from doing some other crazy thing, we tried to keep light and cheerful about it.
Just as a warning: watch out for little Jeremy! He’s cuter than a broken button parade and doesn’t seem to understand the fact that he is breakable as well.
Hey, look how far back I can twist my head!
I can do that!
Hey, watch me flip!
Hey, watch me do some other freakin’ crazy stunt on a hard, tiled floor in socks!
It’s maddening when all you wanna do is have a good time and suddenly you realize the kid could’ve just brained himself. Oy vey!
On a happier note, the kids actually do listen to you and learn from you whether it seems like it or not. We had multiple kids who, by the end of it, could remember the names and way to do certain Tai Chi and Yoga moves and recognized and got better at some of the gymnastics moves and dances – we actually had kids requesting specific exercises by the end of it and even if they performed it incorrectly every time, it was an educational impression, a confidence builder for both them and myself.
I recall not ever wanting to go there by myself at the start of all this – and now?
Now, knowing the kind of welcome these kids would give me, I’d gladly do whatever I could for them, alone or in a group setting. Save working there on a more permanent basis, of course. I’m sure this affection is one heavily nurtured by the fact that I was able to leave, the same sort most babysitter’s feel for infants, or preteens feel for most relatives.
Be as involved and happy about things as possible, don’t be bogged down if there’s one or two (or, lets face it, five or six) kids who aren’t really paying attention or participating, because the ones who are participating are depending upon your continuance and good attitude to keep them in the game, to help them justify to themselves and their friends to keep in the game. It can be very easy to get frustrated with the levels of disorder and craziness going on with the kids, but that only makes your enthusiasm about some semblance of structure all the more important. Let the harshness and reprimands come from the B&G employee(s) that’ll be there shadowing you – if you become the ones trying to control and enforce then the kids won’t be as excited to see you, after all, you’re not there everyday to be a full role model where those sorts of moments are quickly forgotten, you’re labeled quickly in their minds and I think that our group was very, very good about keeping constantly involved and keeping constant smiles on our faces, even if we were correcting someone or trying to dissuade Jeremy from doing some other crazy thing, we tried to keep light and cheerful about it.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Somersaults
Man oh man, I thought I had it bad with my ADD little brother as a kid – these children were something else, a circus of activity, color, laughter, subjects, ideas, and energy all swirled together so that I felt something like Captain Hook captured by the Lost Boys who were only eager and happy to interrogate me on my knowledge of all things to do with martial arts. Which is little, despite my admiration and enjoyment of tai chi. I tell you what, I know the group was concerned that the kids wouldn’t be able to get anything meaningful out of only having five minutes set aside for each specific activity but I promise, had we tried to dedicate a minute more to any one activity, the kids probably would’ve had us all walking the plank. Don’t get me wrong, their enthusiasm and excitement (especially after we mentioned the food – their eyes lit up so bright and fast it was like watching so many pairs of suns rise all at once in some kind of celestial race for afternoon) was surprising and wonderful, I loved how happy they were with us despite any initial first-time-around-the-block disorganization, but given the slightest, teeny-tiniest lull of any kind and they just went wild with things. We had girls who, during the simple thirty second down time of explaining the next exercise that would be trying to show off for us all the gymnastics they already knew, boys who were trying to demonstrate all the “martial arts” they knew by attacking each other in a wild flurry of smacks and laughter, and some of the really young ones trying to explain their entire back story from family troubles to ballet class to homework assignments.
I really feel like we were successful so far as giving the kids something constructive, fun, non-competitive, and yet still group interactive to do for an afternoon where they might have otherwise simply been playing video games or watching older kids play basketball with sighs in their eyes. It was, at times, difficult to keep control and attentions focused enough to complete our planned exercises and routines, but their interest – though perhaps flying off on tangents almost constantly – remained keen and deep throughout the entire session so that those who had to leave early made sure to know when we were coming back, what they’d miss, and whether or not we’d be bringing the snacks back. :] I know I had a lot more fun than I’d anticipated (and I really had anticipated enjoying myself), I know I certainly got a fine workout out of the deal, and I have to mention – even though I’m not the gymnastics guru – there was an older girl in our group, maybe twelve or thirteen, who, when faced with the task of performing a somersault, caught my eye, shook her head, and murmured: no way, I can do that.
Even though it was the lovely Miss Shannon that demonstrated and helped her perform the somersault – I’ve seldom felt so good about life in general as I did when I saw her face after she’d successfully completed her first somersault. Maybe she’s too old to have gone home and excitedly asked her parents to watch what she’d learned to do that day, but I felt as though a difference had been made in her day for the better, let her know she was capable of new things always, always, always. And what a nice sentiment to walk away with at the end of a day. Not a bad day, not bad at all.
I really feel like we were successful so far as giving the kids something constructive, fun, non-competitive, and yet still group interactive to do for an afternoon where they might have otherwise simply been playing video games or watching older kids play basketball with sighs in their eyes. It was, at times, difficult to keep control and attentions focused enough to complete our planned exercises and routines, but their interest – though perhaps flying off on tangents almost constantly – remained keen and deep throughout the entire session so that those who had to leave early made sure to know when we were coming back, what they’d miss, and whether or not we’d be bringing the snacks back. :] I know I had a lot more fun than I’d anticipated (and I really had anticipated enjoying myself), I know I certainly got a fine workout out of the deal, and I have to mention – even though I’m not the gymnastics guru – there was an older girl in our group, maybe twelve or thirteen, who, when faced with the task of performing a somersault, caught my eye, shook her head, and murmured: no way, I can do that.
Even though it was the lovely Miss Shannon that demonstrated and helped her perform the somersault – I’ve seldom felt so good about life in general as I did when I saw her face after she’d successfully completed her first somersault. Maybe she’s too old to have gone home and excitedly asked her parents to watch what she’d learned to do that day, but I felt as though a difference had been made in her day for the better, let her know she was capable of new things always, always, always. And what a nice sentiment to walk away with at the end of a day. Not a bad day, not bad at all.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
A bit of the BS
I’m not a big lecture-goer myself because although I do love to learn and I enjoy stepping out of my major for some refresher-knowledge, I just don’t learn well via lecture. I took notes to help me stay on track during the couple of lectures that I went to yesterday: “How God Changes Your Brain” by Andrew Newberg and “Darwin’s Compass” by Simon Morris, but even then I either found myself uncomfortable, tired, distracted, or rambling so much into my notes that I’d miss pieces of the lecture. I’ve always learned best in group discussion situations but despite all of this I did enjoy myself. I’d actually just been to listen in to a lecture on romance in literature and its evolution through time and cultures, so that was a nice segue for me – especially since I think I learn and retain new information best when it’s presented to me as a piece of a larger puzzle rather than a single, complete entity within itself. (If that made any sense at all :p)
At any rate, I thoroughly enjoyed both speakers – Dr. Newberg reminding me of Bill Nye and Dr. Morris just rockin’ the crazy tie and surprisingly non-annoying British accent – but even though I found Dr. Morris to be exceedingly more entertaining and creative with his presentation, I have to say I was more taken by Dr. Newberg’s study as I am very interested by the relationship between science and religion and the various ways that people are affected (both differently and similarly) by religion. A few snippets I jotted down that really caught my attention were:
• An atheist focusing on God may suffer “cognitive dissidence”
• That the “Abstract Perspective” is located in the Language Center of the brain
• The bringing into question of what realness and reality actually are
• Thalamus : part of brain that allows us to interpret reality
• The fact that 50% of atheists asked to draw God left the page blank because they didn’t believe in God – so what happened to the other 50%?
• The idea of our language restricting the concept of God
• The two wolves story (I really dug that)
I just really appreciated all of the questions he raised because, not only are they fascinating within themselves, but they can also rather easily lead into more questions interconnecting with many different subjects – as he spoke, books kept leaping to mind for me: Robinson Crusoe’s religious beliefs growing stronger even as his language and ability to communicate began to wane; Ishmael of Moby-Dick works into the whole question of realness and reality, the Existential part of the brain and thalamus, etc, etc.
But something that really struck me and stuck with me was a little blip he mentioned briefly at the very beginning of his lecture: the idea that someone can define God.
I don’t know what it was exactly, but something about this concept hit me good and hard; it just felt like by attempting to pin God down under one definition was to discount the allness of Him and thus give some sort of odd physicality to the bars we already place upon our understanding of Him in our employment of language – the metaphoric existence we are unable to escape. (That’s the way Dr. Kilfoyle sort of explained it – our language exists as true and constant metaphor: leg of a table, cup of coffee, arm of a chair, etc.)
I apologize for the rambling; I know I haven’t exactly answered much or accomplished much in this entry but, to be honest, many of these questions I’d already come up with and continue to wrestle with on a day-to-day basis. You can’t really escape God or science when you live in a constant state of Literature – and who would want to?
At any rate, I thoroughly enjoyed both speakers – Dr. Newberg reminding me of Bill Nye and Dr. Morris just rockin’ the crazy tie and surprisingly non-annoying British accent – but even though I found Dr. Morris to be exceedingly more entertaining and creative with his presentation, I have to say I was more taken by Dr. Newberg’s study as I am very interested by the relationship between science and religion and the various ways that people are affected (both differently and similarly) by religion. A few snippets I jotted down that really caught my attention were:
• An atheist focusing on God may suffer “cognitive dissidence”
• That the “Abstract Perspective” is located in the Language Center of the brain
• The bringing into question of what realness and reality actually are
• Thalamus : part of brain that allows us to interpret reality
• The fact that 50% of atheists asked to draw God left the page blank because they didn’t believe in God – so what happened to the other 50%?
• The idea of our language restricting the concept of God
• The two wolves story (I really dug that)
I just really appreciated all of the questions he raised because, not only are they fascinating within themselves, but they can also rather easily lead into more questions interconnecting with many different subjects – as he spoke, books kept leaping to mind for me: Robinson Crusoe’s religious beliefs growing stronger even as his language and ability to communicate began to wane; Ishmael of Moby-Dick works into the whole question of realness and reality, the Existential part of the brain and thalamus, etc, etc.
But something that really struck me and stuck with me was a little blip he mentioned briefly at the very beginning of his lecture: the idea that someone can define God.
I don’t know what it was exactly, but something about this concept hit me good and hard; it just felt like by attempting to pin God down under one definition was to discount the allness of Him and thus give some sort of odd physicality to the bars we already place upon our understanding of Him in our employment of language – the metaphoric existence we are unable to escape. (That’s the way Dr. Kilfoyle sort of explained it – our language exists as true and constant metaphor: leg of a table, cup of coffee, arm of a chair, etc.)
I apologize for the rambling; I know I haven’t exactly answered much or accomplished much in this entry but, to be honest, many of these questions I’d already come up with and continue to wrestle with on a day-to-day basis. You can’t really escape God or science when you live in a constant state of Literature – and who would want to?
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Tuesdays, Morrie, Paideia, Life, n' All that
This isn’t my first time to be reading Tuesdays with Morrie either but it is my first time to be rereading it. I remember it as being one of the first books that really meant something to me (my dad picked it out for me) and I believe it communicates something very important without a lot of the shame or sugar that most of those with messages of love or anti-materialism usually possess. Of course, at the same time this book is still a bit harder for me to say that I absolutely love because even though I understand Mitch’s feelings and perspective are realistic and his own, they still bother me so completely the entire time because death isn’t something that I go long periods of time without giving some serious thought, especially when I’m faced with old age – forget old age + terminal illness. I don’t mean to sound morbid or creepy or fatalistic or anything, I just mean that whether or not you’ve got some extra illness on top of things like Morrie or not, you’re still dying just from being alive and that should be reminder enough to not just rudely ignore and wave off your old mentor’s welcoming smiles just so you can finish up a cell phone conversation.
I really do, do my best everyday to remind myself a little everyday of just how necessary it is for me to be appreciative of what I’ve been given and of what I’ve experienced so I adore characters like Morrie but have a difficult time ever really coming around to prodigals like Mitch even though I know his “repentance” or lesson-learned or whatever is meant to redeem and endear him in my eyes.
Actually, that’s a social norm or more that I find really interesting, the whole acceptance or praise of the prodigal. They are characteristically the ones who are cheered for being able to seize the moment or “really live” (aka, put a career before others, behave recklessly, spend money recklessly or selfishly, etc) but then realize their mistakes after some horrible personal loss whether it be like Morrie or financial loss or death of reputation that they then repent and are accepted open-armed and better appreciated than those (again, like Morrie) who remained constant in their dedication to a virtuous/good/lawful/charitable life. I’m a Christian as I’m sure you know so I do understand and greatly appreciate the parable of the prodigal though I appreciate it more from a religious standpoint than from the position most books and movies put on it. I know it isn’t Christianly of me to hold grudges or to have trouble trusting people when they should be forgiven but it’s a flaw I live with and openly admit (I am working to correct it) but even in the book I still found myself wondering in the end if a while after Morrie was dead would Mitch really still hold so constantly and steadfastly to the lessons he’d learned? They certainly hadn’t stuck the first time he’d learned them.
I like to think, in answer to my own question, that he was changed more permanently for the better, though I know that many people – including myself – forever find themselves moving in circles. Finding a mistake, working to erase it, and then finding it crop up somewhere else. Mitch even admitted that he found through his time with Morrie that he had become more and more like his pre-Morrie college self and less and less like the enlightened young man that had graduated. For me, this aspect of myself, of people, and of society, this constant need to be better, to be enlightened, this constant realization that we aren’t there yet, and then the just as constant method of notice-complain-move on drives me up the wall. It’s something about college that really gets my goat as well – I am a very hopeful, very optimistic person (I think, anyway) but when people start talking about ideals and the greatness of love and the appreciation of the little things over materialism and career-driven lives, though it’s nice talk, I only find myself getting more and more frustrated because it seems to always only be talk. Most of this is probably due to a greater, deeper frustration within myself to do more and contribute more to the betterment of society and simply finding myself not knowing how to do so. I hate the wait-till-you’re-out-of-school-and-into-the-real-world excuse – “real world”, what does that even mean? – but it seems that the be nice, be appreciative approach just isn’t cutting it as half the time I do find myself being randomly nice or particularly upbeat I find people sneering at my optimism or upset because my good mood comes off as unsympathetic or ignorant or they simply feel that being happy or positive makes me in some way less intelligent – why is it that so many people after reading a book, seeing a movie, seeing a play, hearing a song, meeting a new person, always seem to be struck by the need to find something wrong with it before they feel like their praise of it may be taken seriously?
I know that’s probably hypocritical given my aforementioned opinion on the book that I’m supposed to be talking about but that’s what happens when I just start going.
Sorry about that :p
I really do, do my best everyday to remind myself a little everyday of just how necessary it is for me to be appreciative of what I’ve been given and of what I’ve experienced so I adore characters like Morrie but have a difficult time ever really coming around to prodigals like Mitch even though I know his “repentance” or lesson-learned or whatever is meant to redeem and endear him in my eyes.
Actually, that’s a social norm or more that I find really interesting, the whole acceptance or praise of the prodigal. They are characteristically the ones who are cheered for being able to seize the moment or “really live” (aka, put a career before others, behave recklessly, spend money recklessly or selfishly, etc) but then realize their mistakes after some horrible personal loss whether it be like Morrie or financial loss or death of reputation that they then repent and are accepted open-armed and better appreciated than those (again, like Morrie) who remained constant in their dedication to a virtuous/good/lawful/charitable life. I’m a Christian as I’m sure you know so I do understand and greatly appreciate the parable of the prodigal though I appreciate it more from a religious standpoint than from the position most books and movies put on it. I know it isn’t Christianly of me to hold grudges or to have trouble trusting people when they should be forgiven but it’s a flaw I live with and openly admit (I am working to correct it) but even in the book I still found myself wondering in the end if a while after Morrie was dead would Mitch really still hold so constantly and steadfastly to the lessons he’d learned? They certainly hadn’t stuck the first time he’d learned them.
I like to think, in answer to my own question, that he was changed more permanently for the better, though I know that many people – including myself – forever find themselves moving in circles. Finding a mistake, working to erase it, and then finding it crop up somewhere else. Mitch even admitted that he found through his time with Morrie that he had become more and more like his pre-Morrie college self and less and less like the enlightened young man that had graduated. For me, this aspect of myself, of people, and of society, this constant need to be better, to be enlightened, this constant realization that we aren’t there yet, and then the just as constant method of notice-complain-move on drives me up the wall. It’s something about college that really gets my goat as well – I am a very hopeful, very optimistic person (I think, anyway) but when people start talking about ideals and the greatness of love and the appreciation of the little things over materialism and career-driven lives, though it’s nice talk, I only find myself getting more and more frustrated because it seems to always only be talk. Most of this is probably due to a greater, deeper frustration within myself to do more and contribute more to the betterment of society and simply finding myself not knowing how to do so. I hate the wait-till-you’re-out-of-school-and-into-the-real-world excuse – “real world”, what does that even mean? – but it seems that the be nice, be appreciative approach just isn’t cutting it as half the time I do find myself being randomly nice or particularly upbeat I find people sneering at my optimism or upset because my good mood comes off as unsympathetic or ignorant or they simply feel that being happy or positive makes me in some way less intelligent – why is it that so many people after reading a book, seeing a movie, seeing a play, hearing a song, meeting a new person, always seem to be struck by the need to find something wrong with it before they feel like their praise of it may be taken seriously?
I know that’s probably hypocritical given my aforementioned opinion on the book that I’m supposed to be talking about but that’s what happens when I just start going.
Sorry about that :p
Sunday, January 11, 2009
The Club
I will never want to go to the Boys and Girls club alone. I like children and have worked with them in Sunday school classes, various summer programs and camps, and countless nights of babysitting but I still don’t feel terribly comfortable around them or that they every particularly take to me. I’m a pretty shy person and I know when you’re working with children of any age that you have to be able to open up and really put yourself out there whether to just have fun with them or have a serious discussion. So, seeing as how this’ll be a bit of a stretch for me, I think going with at least one other person – even if we split up once we arrive – will still help me to feel calmer and better able to loosen up. Also, I don’t have a car so while I could bike, it would be much more convenient if I could bum a ride with someone (I apologize for that!).
Personally, I hope that working with these kids will help me to fight back more of this shyness and become more confident with myself in this sort of role. As for accomplishments, I’d just like to help somebody have a better day whenever I go in. That’d be good for me.
I have worked with kids both individually and in groups and, really, it depends almost totally on the kids on which works better for me. I’m not the most sport-oriented person in the world but I am willing to, of course, play games or at the very least referee them if my skills prove truly deplorable :p . I’d be happy to go in for up to two-ish hours on a week day but on, say, Fridays or Saturdays, I could probably go in for more if necessary. Really, the timing just depends on how lenient my professors feel like being homework-wise from week to week.
As for activities, it really doesn’t matter much to me seeing as it is all so dependent on the kids and the situation. When I worked as a camp counselor it was always necessary to have a structured plan to things or the kids would get antsy and there was always a good handful of them so if we didn’t keep to the schedule of things then chaos of who wanted to do what would break out. However, for babysitting I pretty much never went in with a game plan and would end up doing everything from pretending to be a pilgrim at a marketplace to the simple chase the kid around the couch until he gives up for another hour of mind-numbing SpongeBob DVDs. I’m willing to do what the kids need/prefer though it’ll take me a bit to really loosen up and get into whatever it is that we’re doing. This shouldn’t really be that big of a deal for me or my shyness, it’s just an annoying tendency I have and would definitely like to rid myself of (you’re not supposed to leave a dangling participle).
Till then
Personally, I hope that working with these kids will help me to fight back more of this shyness and become more confident with myself in this sort of role. As for accomplishments, I’d just like to help somebody have a better day whenever I go in. That’d be good for me.
I have worked with kids both individually and in groups and, really, it depends almost totally on the kids on which works better for me. I’m not the most sport-oriented person in the world but I am willing to, of course, play games or at the very least referee them if my skills prove truly deplorable :p . I’d be happy to go in for up to two-ish hours on a week day but on, say, Fridays or Saturdays, I could probably go in for more if necessary. Really, the timing just depends on how lenient my professors feel like being homework-wise from week to week.
As for activities, it really doesn’t matter much to me seeing as it is all so dependent on the kids and the situation. When I worked as a camp counselor it was always necessary to have a structured plan to things or the kids would get antsy and there was always a good handful of them so if we didn’t keep to the schedule of things then chaos of who wanted to do what would break out. However, for babysitting I pretty much never went in with a game plan and would end up doing everything from pretending to be a pilgrim at a marketplace to the simple chase the kid around the couch until he gives up for another hour of mind-numbing SpongeBob DVDs. I’m willing to do what the kids need/prefer though it’ll take me a bit to really loosen up and get into whatever it is that we’re doing. This shouldn’t really be that big of a deal for me or my shyness, it’s just an annoying tendency I have and would definitely like to rid myself of (you’re not supposed to leave a dangling participle).
Till then
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