Tuesdays, Morrie, Paideia, Life, n' All that

This isn’t my first time to be reading Tuesdays with Morrie either but it is my first time to be rereading it. I remember it as being one of the first books that really meant something to me (my dad picked it out for me) and I believe it communicates something very important without a lot of the shame or sugar that most of those with messages of love or anti-materialism usually possess. Of course, at the same time this book is still a bit harder for me to say that I absolutely love because even though I understand Mitch’s feelings and perspective are realistic and his own, they still bother me so completely the entire time because death isn’t something that I go long periods of time without giving some serious thought, especially when I’m faced with old age – forget old age + terminal illness. I don’t mean to sound morbid or creepy or fatalistic or anything, I just mean that whether or not you’ve got some extra illness on top of things like Morrie or not, you’re still dying just from being alive and that should be reminder enough to not just rudely ignore and wave off your old mentor’s welcoming smiles just so you can finish up a cell phone conversation.

I really do, do my best everyday to remind myself a little everyday of just how necessary it is for me to be appreciative of what I’ve been given and of what I’ve experienced so I adore characters like Morrie but have a difficult time ever really coming around to prodigals like Mitch even though I know his “repentance” or lesson-learned or whatever is meant to redeem and endear him in my eyes.

Actually, that’s a social norm or more that I find really interesting, the whole acceptance or praise of the prodigal. They are characteristically the ones who are cheered for being able to seize the moment or “really live” (aka, put a career before others, behave recklessly, spend money recklessly or selfishly, etc) but then realize their mistakes after some horrible personal loss whether it be like Morrie or financial loss or death of reputation that they then repent and are accepted open-armed and better appreciated than those (again, like Morrie) who remained constant in their dedication to a virtuous/good/lawful/charitable life. I’m a Christian as I’m sure you know so I do understand and greatly appreciate the parable of the prodigal though I appreciate it more from a religious standpoint than from the position most books and movies put on it. I know it isn’t Christianly of me to hold grudges or to have trouble trusting people when they should be forgiven but it’s a flaw I live with and openly admit (I am working to correct it) but even in the book I still found myself wondering in the end if a while after Morrie was dead would Mitch really still hold so constantly and steadfastly to the lessons he’d learned? They certainly hadn’t stuck the first time he’d learned them.

I like to think, in answer to my own question, that he was changed more permanently for the better, though I know that many people – including myself – forever find themselves moving in circles. Finding a mistake, working to erase it, and then finding it crop up somewhere else. Mitch even admitted that he found through his time with Morrie that he had become more and more like his pre-Morrie college self and less and less like the enlightened young man that had graduated. For me, this aspect of myself, of people, and of society, this constant need to be better, to be enlightened, this constant realization that we aren’t there yet, and then the just as constant method of notice-complain-move on drives me up the wall. It’s something about college that really gets my goat as well – I am a very hopeful, very optimistic person (I think, anyway) but when people start talking about ideals and the greatness of love and the appreciation of the little things over materialism and career-driven lives, though it’s nice talk, I only find myself getting more and more frustrated because it seems to always only be talk. Most of this is probably due to a greater, deeper frustration within myself to do more and contribute more to the betterment of society and simply finding myself not knowing how to do so. I hate the wait-till-you’re-out-of-school-and-into-the-real-world excuse – “real world”, what does that even mean? – but it seems that the be nice, be appreciative approach just isn’t cutting it as half the time I do find myself being randomly nice or particularly upbeat I find people sneering at my optimism or upset because my good mood comes off as unsympathetic or ignorant or they simply feel that being happy or positive makes me in some way less intelligent – why is it that so many people after reading a book, seeing a movie, seeing a play, hearing a song, meeting a new person, always seem to be struck by the need to find something wrong with it before they feel like their praise of it may be taken seriously?

I know that’s probably hypocritical given my aforementioned opinion on the book that I’m supposed to be talking about but that’s what happens when I just start going.

Sorry about that :p

The Club

I will never want to go to the Boys and Girls club alone. I like children and have worked with them in Sunday school classes, various summer programs and camps, and countless nights of babysitting but I still don’t feel terribly comfortable around them or that they every particularly take to me. I’m a pretty shy person and I know when you’re working with children of any age that you have to be able to open up and really put yourself out there whether to just have fun with them or have a serious discussion. So, seeing as how this’ll be a bit of a stretch for me, I think going with at least one other person – even if we split up once we arrive – will still help me to feel calmer and better able to loosen up. Also, I don’t have a car so while I could bike, it would be much more convenient if I could bum a ride with someone (I apologize for that!).

Personally, I hope that working with these kids will help me to fight back more of this shyness and become more confident with myself in this sort of role. As for accomplishments, I’d just like to help somebody have a better day whenever I go in. That’d be good for me.

I have worked with kids both individually and in groups and, really, it depends almost totally on the kids on which works better for me. I’m not the most sport-oriented person in the world but I am willing to, of course, play games or at the very least referee them if my skills prove truly deplorable :p . I’d be happy to go in for up to two-ish hours on a week day but on, say, Fridays or Saturdays, I could probably go in for more if necessary. Really, the timing just depends on how lenient my professors feel like being homework-wise from week to week.

As for activities, it really doesn’t matter much to me seeing as it is all so dependent on the kids and the situation. When I worked as a camp counselor it was always necessary to have a structured plan to things or the kids would get antsy and there was always a good handful of them so if we didn’t keep to the schedule of things then chaos of who wanted to do what would break out. However, for babysitting I pretty much never went in with a game plan and would end up doing everything from pretending to be a pilgrim at a marketplace to the simple chase the kid around the couch until he gives up for another hour of mind-numbing SpongeBob DVDs. I’m willing to do what the kids need/prefer though it’ll take me a bit to really loosen up and get into whatever it is that we’re doing. This shouldn’t really be that big of a deal for me or my shyness, it’s just an annoying tendency I have and would definitely like to rid myself of (you’re not supposed to leave a dangling participle).


Till then