Flushing, Queens

It was a very strange (and surprisingly comfortable) sensation to realize I was the only white person in our group. Five of us decided we’d journey out into Flushing, Queens (it took about an hour by subway to get there), instead of going to the thickly commercialized Chinatown for some Malaysian food. The Five: myself (white), Jasmine (Japanese), Sye Yuet (Singaporean), Rebecca (part Hawaiian, part Korean), and I Forgot Her Name Friend of Becca’s (Indian). So we all met at Astor Place and subwayed to Flushing – and I watched from stop to stop as slowly the white passengers filtered out (the last of them having only waded out so far into Queens in order to get to JFK airport) and Then There Was One. But I have to say, even though all the girls in my groups were of varying backgrounds, culturally we were all in sync so there was no discomfort or real change at all (besides them being very interested in all the differences between NY and TX).

It really didn’t strike home for me that I was a sincere minority until we got off the train and stepped into the world of Chinese billboards, Chinese crowds, people who could look at me in a restaurant and know I was different, know I didn’t live there, didn’t “belong” there – and I suppose that was the most troubling of the feelings (which I was able to deal with since being with friends) but knowing that people saw me come in and shrugged me away as someone who would be leaving shortly because clearly I didn’t belong with them, clearly I couldn’t be living there, and perhaps, clearly I shouldn’t be living there. I’m not saying I experienced racism or anything like that, simply that I experienced, I think for the first time, being considered Different or Out of Place.

The food was delicious! We went to a place Sye Yuet picked (because we all wanted something as “authentically” Chinese as possible) called Malay Restaurant Inc., and it was beyond fortunate that we had her because she’s the only one among us who can speak and understand Chinese (which is pretty much how you ordered food at all unless you just pointed about). But she knew how many of the foods were cooked and what tasted like truer Singaporean, Malaysian, etc., and so we decided to do a family-style try-all. We ordered (or Sye Yuet ordered for us in Chinese (I included a photo of some of the food)) a Buddhist Yam Pot (delicious but too rich for me, just a few bites and I felt dizzy), Barbecued Fish-Skate, Satay, Hainanese Chicken Rice, Sambal Squid, and what I believe was Spicy Thai Chicken. And I learned about (though sadly didn’t get to try this time around) Durian Red Bean Ice: durian is, apparently, a South Asian fruit that smells so strongly (and badly) that it can take a long time to get used to and even cause illness or fainting but if you just go ahead and taste it’s apparently delectably sweet and addictively good.



(The photo shows the yam pot, one of the remaining satays, some teacups, peanut sauce, and the sambal squid. (Oh, and I don’t think we ordered tea, it was simply brought out and served, sort of like water in other restaurants.))

But there wasn’t a single dish served that I’d ever tried before, which was exciting, and complimentary watermelon slices were served at the end (the same way mints usually are in the restaurants I’m accustomed to). And during the meal (which did take a while – it was five girls’ worth of conversation), we mostly (I’m proud and impressed to say) discussed our separate cultural backgrounds and the shifts between them, from the strangeness of “common sushi” in America versus the sushi-as-luxury food in Japan and what this switch means for American perceptions of Japan to discussing the pace difference (which I have absolutely been victimized by) between Texas and NYC and the cultural stress to rush and be busy that seems ubiquitous here to discussing the street culture and foods of Vietnam to, of course, discussing Singapore. But these are truly Women of the World – Friend of Rebecca had just gotten back from travels from London to Rome to Madrid and back, while Jasmine had been all over Asia (along with Rebecca and Sye Yeut), and Sye Yuet who is going to be going back to Singapore for a couple weeks before going back to school in London. In other words, the discussion was wonderfully colorful and intelligent and brave and now I’m excited and eager for the day when I get to curlicue my way through Asia and then into Italy and deeper into Europe – I have decided that this trip and these people have proven to me I do harbor a love for traveling and for learning by experience, but that I also need this tempered with company and a break at home. And perhaps the reason I have had a more difficult time assimilating into NYC is because I’ve spent most of the summer away from home and others from school to Carolina to California to NYC without much of any stoppage in between.

After dinner we journeyed through a sea of Asian characters and advertisements and neon signs to a tea café for dessert (I believe it was called Sago “Something”) and then to a little bakery for breakfast and/or gifts. This little place, just a slice dug out of the strip, was called Maxin Café. It was difficult making any decisions on what to buy there since only some of the food names were translated on their price stickers (fortunately, again, we had Sye Yuet). I ended up just grabbing a tin of coconut cookies for my Nana but they had all sorts of sweet flatbreads, fruit cakes, green tea cakes, sesame breads, red bean pastries, etc.

We acted particularly tourist-esque thanks to the bravery of Rebecca who took no qualms with asking anyone from waiters to people on the street to act as our photographer and, I have to say, this made me realize a strange sort of a preconception in myself as I found it to be an almost role-reversal to have Asian people taking tourist photographs of me instead of the other way around. And, while this seems to me as a relatively harmless race generalization, it bothered me just realizing that I’d had this generalization engrained within me in the first place. It was also strange to realize that I was, effectively, a cultural (and racial) tourist in my own country. What a new and oddly fitting feeling to realize that I wasn’t being a tourist by taking a photo of a mountain or statue but of myself in comparison with the culture and people around me – as if they were a mountain or a statue.

And I guess this is when I realized just how aware I’ve constantly been of my race in this state versus how little I think about it while I’m at home. Every time I’ve walked down the street, I’ve made notes to myself on whether or not I was the only white person walking down. Every time I’ve heard a different language buzz by on a cell phone, I’ve wondered about my own validity as an American and why whiteness should seem to qualify me so well (the Arizona fuck-up, knowing I wouldn’t be stopped and questioned simply because I’m white).

It’s…strange.

ciao for now!
katie

Week 3/4 of NYC

Howdy again from NYC – good and bad, delicious and bitter, my padre came by on his way to Vermont for a gallery ceremony where some of his photography was displayed, and then Evan came up for our 10 month anniversary with the surprise of Bernadette Peters in “A Little Night Music” (and we totally got to see her naked (I don’t think the mirror was supposed to be placed that way)) and all in all it made for a wonderful and much more adventurous past handful of days, but now I’m sadly in withdrawal again. I’ll cope, I know, but I’m still counting down the days until I get to be home and then at SU again.

I’ve now managed to navigate my way around through Central Park, the American Museum of Natural History (the Hall of Origins is breathtaking), and the Metropolitan Museum (Picasso is something…special). I’ve also been spending a good deal of time in Little India, tried some Turkish food, some Turkish coffee (stronger than espresso, thick and gritty, delicious but it made my hands shake), and tried generally to reconsider the neighborhood through the scope of my current coursework: cultural assimilation, residential segregation, environmental racism, etc. I haven’t noticed much thus far in Little India by way of environmental racism, but the first two issues are absolutely prevalent. The restaurants may be Indian, the owners and cooks may be American Indian, but the styles of things seem to be assimilating into the general “Americana” culture. I stepped out of my Turkish joint to find across the street a place literally called “Curry in a Hurry”. And while the Turkish place is called Ay Kitchen, which is also, arguably, by virtue of its English alone, culturally assimilated, it didn’t seem to advertise itself or its food to the stereotypical busy white New Yorker the same way that “Curry in a Hurry” seemed to do.

It was also interesting to notice that the places seeming most frequented by the neighborhood Indian population were basement restaurants that I barely realized were restaurants at first, so well tucked under as they were. This reminded me of, though not quite so blatantly, the Mexican restaurants back home with signs up in the windows that say: No English – apparently meaning that they don’t speak English, coded meaning that they don’t intend to serve white English speakers, coded meaning that they serve “actual” Mexican food.

I would also say that New York seems to be one of the most unashamed examples of rampant residential segregation since the very existence of a cultural enclave such as Little India (or Chinatown or Little Italy) functions as a form of residential segregation. Especially since, though there were other non-Indian people eating and passing through, it’s definitely apparent that they aren’t living in the neighborhood as the American Indians working there are. This begs the question of why – why is it that the capitalist class may commodify cultures (as well as their own) and in doing so force people into ghettos or slums or cultural enclaves in order to preserve traditions? It’s also interesting to see how parts of town become encoded as either good or bad, safe or dirty, because I was actually surprised to find Little India in the part of town (upper part of Gramercy and lower part of Murray Hill) I did. The quality of streets seems to change at random, moving from the “nice” and more predominantly Jewish part of town that I’m staying in (surrounded by Baruch College and Yeshiva University) to the less reputable (not necessarily a “bad” part of town, but definitely a shift) into the predominantly Indian and noticeably poorer neighborhood.

I’m now excited to go with Sye Yuet (my classmate from Singapore and university in London) to Chinatown seeing as she can speak Chinese and thus, I’m hoping, will be able to give us access to the figurative basement or “No English” type of experience. However, I have to say, that I’m really finding it easier to recognize and appreciate the diversity and intercultural aspects of my classmates than of my pioneering into these various enclaves. These enclaves seem to have cookie cut themselves out in order to cater to and mask their cultural origins from the typical white capitalist class patrons, whereas my classmates (Jasmine (Japanese): Tokyo, Sye Yuet (Singaporean): Singapore/London, Chris (white): Pittsburgh (I’m pretty sure), Palik (Indian): Chicago, Todd (white): NY, Rebecca (Hawaiian, I believe): Hawaii, Prof Ariana (Hispanic): NY (parents, I’m pretty sure, from the Dominican Republic), and Moi (white): NC/TX ) offer their intercultural perspectives openly and excitedly.

For instance, I’m constantly surprised by Sye Yuet’s perspective on capitalism and our freedoms (especially of speech – actually just the other day we were discussing the protesting in Brooklyn against the construction of a Mosque and she looked at me with mild confusion and said: They are protesting the Mosque? In Singapore they would be arrested for saying those things.) as well as Jasmine’s perspective. Jasmine openly admitted that her move to America has shocked her because growing up in Japan she’d believed that we were a land where people happily tolerated and accepted people of all colors, religions, and backgrounds, and so many things I take for granted as cultural givens, she has fascinating new insights on. Then even the rest of us state-side colleagues have a variety of cultural perspectives (for instance, I was rather laughed at in yesterday’s class after revealing that I’d never seen or met a black hipster before, which they simply dismissed as a “Texas thing” and hey, maybe it is – maybe I need to be more observant in Austin, but definitely back home, I’ve never seen anyone not pigment-free dressed as a hipster) from Todd’s urban environmental concerns versus Chris’s entertainment POV, etc etc etc.

I would also like to take this opportunity to say: Go See Tilda Swinton in “I Am Love” – yes, it is in Italian and Russian and yes, it is rather old school, but that’s part of what makes it so delicious. I have to say, this is one of the very best films I’ve seen in a very long time dealing with both homo and hetero-sexual tensions as well as with cultural tensions and assimilations and the identity crises that inevitably ensue from the tangle – which, I think, ties in beautifully with everything I’m learning and, less directly, with some of what I’m experiencing out here – the dramatic (and widening) gap between affluence and impoverishment, the assimilation of certain ethnicities versus the utter exclusion or fetishsizing of others, etc. In short, it’s romantic, it’s painful, it’s sumptuous, it’s intercultural, and it’s fantastic – definitely Tilda at her best.

Anyhoo, definitely keep an eye on Politico (http://www.politico.com/) – one of the best and most renown political newspapers online because they are keeping a very impressive eye on Obama’s progress as we approach the first noodlings of the 2012 election. (Plus I got to have lunch with Alice, the Editor – she’s just fantastic :))

Ciao for now, neighborinos

Oh! And P.S. – maybe send up a prayer or at least a kind vibe pour moi because it looks like I have some serious publisher interest in my honor thesis :] rock on, intellecticos!

NYC Week 2 Part II

So firstly, here's the Dr. Powell link I forgot to publish as promised:
http://urbanhabitat.org/20years/powell

Secondly, I just got out of class and absolutely felt the need to share this with you all. So, we're talking about the conceptions of space and how spaces are socially constructed and then how social practices and norms become constructed off of those spaces and I mentioned the article we'd discussed about how men's and women's brains have evolved over the years due possibly to our "original" roles where men were hunter-gatherers and women stayed closer to the campsite thus making men better navigators and women better multitaskers --

but my prof here informed me that this article was incorrect because -- Prof Camacho being an anthropologist -- archeological findings actually (generally) "prove" that this assumption is in itself incorrect and that in many cases it was the women who traveled farthest from camp and men who remained more reigned in. She said that this article sounded like an example of scientists working to reinforce social norms and practices by creating scientific theories to match these preexisting social practices and ideals (such as the adventurous working man with his house wife raising the children).

And this really grabbed my attention since we're usually so keen on these sorts of "normative" issues. And it reminded me of what I'd also been learning a couple semesters ago about Samuel Morton (the rotten bastard) who perverted Darwinism (as so many have) back in the dawning of the American Anthropology craze in order to reinforce his social belief that whites were biologically superior to blacks. He "proved" this theory by measuring skulls but he skewed his measurements to fit his theory rather than working to fit his theory to his "evidence" (of course, you must have evidence in order to fit theories to it, but c'est la vie).

But anyway, this notion surprised me and so I thought I'd share.

We're learning about, as I mentioned before, how social processes create spaces (such as these social norms regarding gender have affected the construction of buildings and cities -- why women have a harder time getting around walking urban areas thanks to social practices like the high heel, etc) and then how we in turn experience these spaces through social practice -- and all the while we're trying to focus on race and how race fits in with these theories. Because surprisingly most academics haven't been thinking of these problems in terms of race, but most commonly in terms of economic or gender studies.

For instance, these conversations come up a lot now when buildings aren't designed to meet the needs of those outside the "norm" such as not providing ramps for wheelchair users or third bathroom options. Progressive steps are, of course, being taken -- some of NYU's buildings are particularly impressive I think. Just take the bathroom example: many of NYU's public restrooms provide a third option bathroom that isn't even labeled "unisex" but simply "toilet" so as to not inflict systematic social violence against any one not considering themselves under either social labels of "Men" or "Women" while not trapping or isolating them under such "one size fits all" labels as "Unisex".

Another example of social practices creating space could be the current issues arising with Veteran Hospitals. Most of the VH's don't provide any OBGYN service at all and many don't even provide menstruation care products such as Tampons or Midol. A particularly violent example of these spaces not being made with women in mind is that one VH was actually discovered to have had one of the maternity chairs configured so that the stirrup end faced an open doorway -- completely violating all privacy of the female patient. But the argument in defense of these upsets is simply that VH's weren't built with women in mind -- but that shouldn't be a viable excuse anymore given how long women have been able to enlist; because of this, it becomes very clear that these spatial constructions are now encoded with social assumptions about where women are "meant" and "not meant" to be (i.e. the armed forces).

Anyway, we're trying to bring race more into this conversation (though the gender studies are obviously important) and try to figure out why no matter the economic moves or progression of time, racism continues rule how cities and suburbs are constructed. We just read a very stunning article by Setha Low called "Maintaining Whiteness: The Fear of Others and Niceness" in which she expounds the dangers of gentrification, gated communities, and the ideas of what constitute "nice" neighborhood versus a "bad" one. It's a fascinating and terrifying article that I highly recommend.

I feel that it's an important article also considering the recent Citizens United v. Federal Election Committee case which gave corporations the same freedom of speech rights as individuals (going against years and years and years of precedent!!! the treachery is overwhelming) because Low gets into the problem of Home Owners Associations and the real-estate companies running these selective gated communities (i.e. residential segregated communities) being able to contractually strip individual of certain freedom of speech rights by barring them from everything from painting their house a different color to kissing their significant other in view of the neighbors (seriously, this happened, a woman was fined by her home owners association for kissing her boyfriend in her garage); and is it even constitutional that these corporations should be able to contract away peoples constitutional rights? I mean, I know freedom of speech isn't strictly one of the inalienable ones, but my goodness! This has extreme danger written all over it.

But basically these are all just giant systematic steps toward privatized segregation which will only promote fear of all those not in the neighborhood and thus exacerbate preexisting ethnic tensions and isolation.

If we're not going to rewrite our constitution to enable some sort of social progress such as is being experienced by the people of Singapore, why in the wide world of sports are we rewriting it for the benefit of corporations? Won't they now be dictating our presidential elections as well as who our neighbors are and what our houses look like?

I feel like Winston Smith's harbinger or something -- this is scary stuff, folks. But I'm glad we're on the forefront -- I think so long as people like you, the people I work with all the time at SU, are the ones coming out to grapple with all of this bullshit, then we'll have a real fighting chance.
It'll be expensive, but it'll be worth it.

ciao for now chicos

Week Deux of NYC

We’re learning right now about residential segregation and gentrification and how race plays into these things. We’re going through everything from heavy theorists like de Certeau and Lefebvre (still haven’t made sense of that dude) to more concrete (and better appreciated) writers and activists such as Dr. John A. Powell – and he actually had something magnificent to say in his speech Regionalism and Race that I’d like to highlight though I’ll just go ahead and attach the PDF:
He said that the problem isn’t that people are looking at history and trying to learn from it, the problem is with whose interpretation of those lessons we’re choosing to accept and follow.

And I just thought that was amazing! Because the clarity of that truth is just stunning. People are looking at the cyclical poverty of minority groups in cities and they look at the predatory lending that went on to systematically shaft them there – and instead of saying, it’s because of predatory lending practices they say it’s because of the people getting the loans! Then the solution becomes to simply stop lending to poor minorities rather than to cease and attack predatory lending(ers).

I earned an A on my presentation – which is kind of astonishing to me considering I think it’s one of the worst I’ve ever given. My information was fine and as exhaustive as one could expect out of a ten minute sound byte but I just let myself get so flustered and harried; you wouldn’t have recognized me, especially not after the victory that was Monterey.

And while I am perversely enjoying the weekly 2 page papers where we discuss a case study of our choice or personal urban experience to analyze under the scope of the week’s readings, I’m having trouble getting my head around the relevancy of a lot of this more involved theory. Many of these academics seem strictly concerned with defining terms like “space” and “time,” which I’m beginning to realize must be where Clinton got the idea for his “define ‘is’” argument.

However, I will say that this week’s presenter – Syeut, a sweet girl from Singapore who’s studying economics (I’m pretty sure) in London – presented on the forced residential and economic diversity integration practices of Singapore. And if these government practices weren’t completely unconstitutional, I’d vote for them immediately. Basically, since Singapore is essentially a migrant population and is so densely populated for such a small country, they have worked it so that (basically) everyone lives in these large, compact high rise apartment complexes. Within these complexes they have quotas requiring a certain percentage of each major and minority racial group of the nation. They also contain apartments of varying sizes scattered throughout in order to appropriately integrate people of varying economic statuses.

And while this has worked very well for them, keeping their schools nice and generally well funded, keeping riots and detrimental prejudices to a minimum, it has also made things difficult for people on the up-and-up who are interested in buying houses or larger flats because of how difficult it can be to resell their current abodes given the quotas. And while you (as I have done) may poo-poo on this setback as small potatoes compared to the apparent social advantages, it’s also completely anti-mainstream American way and our desperate love to our right of property. And while that word “property” can sound immoral in peculiar ways when compared with these other boons, it’s nothing to poo-poo on either. After all, wasn’t the right to property and economic prosperity just as strong a motive for our settler ancestors’ migration as religious freedom? (We won’t get into the torrent of feelings I harbor for their migration here.)

But anyway, I just thought it was a great conversation and case study that I’m glad to now be a part of. Who knew I’d become interested in the residential regulations of Singapore?

Anyhoo, it’s still lonely here but I’m slowly becoming hardened against it, writing a lot more letters than I normally do at school, and that helps (I like to fancy myself as something of a jumper into the letter-writing conversation stylings of the Beats though I’m, admittedly and obviously, nowhere near so cool). And I would still rather be at home just working on the GRE and my honor thesis at my leisure, but all learning is important, right? ... (right?)

I just had dinner with a cousin of mine who is big in the foreign affairs world – just got back from Israel and now he’s on his way to Pakistan – and he’s a wonderful, wonderful guy but it’s frustrating sitting there and having little to nothing to contribute as to the state of the American economy in connection with Pakistan politics given my miniscule knowledge about the complexities of both and then to be kind heartedly and well intentioned-ly grilled about why on earth I’d want to pursue studies in English and American studies when obviously math and science and politics make more sense and are expanding in academic arenas rather than downsizing or stagnating – it’s frustrating in that you can’t really argue that you hope to help get English and American studies programs expanding again because then you just get “the look”.

I tell you what, they wean you on the “you can do anything you want when you grow up” and then they slap you with unintended discouragements and reasons why you shouldn’t want to do that – even though you’ve already gotten to the business of growing up! Oy vey, I tell you… It’s just frustrating to be constantly followed by this specter of What If by people who’ve already made their place in the world. I’m working hard and doing the little extra’s and I’m interested in learning and contributing rather than in simple degree earning as a plus sign in the equation to a bigger paycheck. Of course, I have no delusions about getting rich off a History or American Studies PhD! Who would?

And then I ran into a professor from SU, believe it or not, right there on Broadway. I won’t name names because I wanted to cry after this run-in. It’s a professor I adore and respect very much, but who decided that that was the appropriate time to tell me that she didn’t think I should pursue American Studies over something like English because it just didn’t make any financial sense to enter into a field of study that’s currently downsizing. She essentially told me don’t follow this interest because no one will hire you.

What makes her think that professor-hood was the only thing in the world I was hoping to achieve? What makes her think that no one can get hired in a separate field with an American Studies degree? Look at our Communications department! Dr. Tahm and Dr. Bednar – both American Studies degrees. And what if I wanted to be a literary agent or a museum curator or a high school teacher or a flat-out writer or a critic or drop it all and open up my own dessert shop called Katie’s Confectionary? It’s just…why should I have to so constantly justify what I’m passionate about to all of these successful, well-educated people who all went about getting where they are by different, crazy routes that certainly their parents and teachers wouldn’t have recommended? I know things will be hard, I know we’re in a difficult economic time and that grad schools are filling up and jobs are blipping away – I’m not, and most of my colleagues at SU are not somehow blind to all of these things.

We’re trying and we want to be a part of the conversation.
And I understand wanting to help us into the safer options, take care of us and help us to take better care of ourselves, but there’s a point when that turns into flat discouragement.

Where’s the balance? How do we strike all the right balances? From helping each other versus hurting each other, from improving our neighborhoods to racist gentrification, how do we know where to go and when to stop?

Sorry to be so long winded and convoluted, but what can I say? I’ve been spending too much time with myself.

Ciao for now neighborinos

First Week in NYC for NYU

To be honest, I’m really despising NYC so far. I know that’s ungrateful because this is a great experience for my Intercultural Experience, getting to study Comparative Ethnic Urbanisms at NYU and live in the city for a while – but I just can’t stand it here. City city living isn’t for me – especially not all by myself. I’m living at my grandfather’s apartment off-campus, so I’m in an air conditioned place (thank goodness!) but I’m also a bit more isolated. But you know, it’s not even that I’m not people at the school, because I am, and my classmates are very cool & very diverse – there’s only a small group of us in the class, 8 or 10, but there are people there from everywhere: two or three native New Yorkers, a girl from Singapore (who’s studying now in London), a girl from Tokyo, and then a couple others from scattered America (such as myself) – so it’s wonderful getting all these fresh perspectives on American urban issues, but it’s also miserable in its own ways – I find myself not really wanting to meet other people, which I find strange for me since I had very little trouble integrating myself almost immediately in with my new environment at SU.

It’s been a very difficult transition (as well as a damned expensive one) and I find it very difficult to motivate myself to do anything. I don’t want to go out and see the sites (as you may here find proof as it’s July 4th in NYC and I’m sitting in the apartment writing this blog entry instead of marching down to the Hudson to see the fireworks – although, I will say, I’m hardly patriotic in the flags-and-apple pie sense; I’d say I’m more patriotic in the Harlan Howard sense of patriotism (thank you, Evan, for another wonderful introduction!))

Harlan Howard’s “Uncle Sam (I’m A Patriot)”

Uncle Sam, I work hard every day but there ain’t much left when I draw my pay
Then I hear you’re giving’ those millions away to somebody outside the USA
Uncle Sam, Uncle Sam, Uncle Sam, I’m a patriot; yes, I am

And even though you made me mad as Cane, if you need me, Uncle, just call my name

Now, the little dirt farmer works all of his life
And leaves eight dollars to his kids and his wife
While the big land owner is a millionaire, he made it by lettin’ his land stand bare
Uncle Sam, Uncle Sam…

I get choked up every time I hear the national anthem loud and clear
And though I’ve got a complaint or two, you can write my name in red, white, and blue
Uncle Sam, Uncle Sam…
Uncle Sam, Uncle Sam…
Uncle Sam, Uncle Sam…

I know, I know – the lyrics make it sounds corny, but to hear it sung is to understand it. It’s the Fourth of July and I can’t say I’m particularly proud of my country right now – yes, we have Obama – finally – but we’re still without Universal Healthcare, we’re still shackled to capitalism’s whims, we’re still watching communities and cities like Detroit just funnel away into poverty as opposed to asking Zukin’s q of: “Whose city?” and then working to help recreate these cities into safer & creative environments.

And that’s really a lot of what I’m studying right now in my coursework – though I will say, I’m frustrated by our continuous focus on theory and theory and theory as opposed to more case studies and Dr. John A. Powell (he’s a great academic and activist right now on these issues – I’ll have more on him and his work later on – it’s really progressive & solution-oriented work he’s doing) and applications of theories. I just don’t see much point in spending time on heavy theory during a summer course – how is theoretical argumentation over the natures of “Space” and “Time” really helps me think more critically about ghettoization, white flight, and cultural assimilation versus cultural preservation as determinants of American success and upward mobility. I’m keeping notes & I’m excited to get to share more of them with you both here and when we’re all back at school, because this really is the highlight of all of NYC for me right now.

It’s just miserably and paralyzingly lonely here. What’s the point of going to fireworks alone? What’s the point of going to the museums alone? It all just feels even more polarizing because there’s nobody to turn to and pontificate with, chuckle with, or keep you calm when you get horribly lost the very first day and end up walking around sizzling NYC for four hours while natives snicker behind their hands at you and your map.

Anyway, I don’t mean to be ungrateful or a drag – but I’m ready to be home or back at school with my friends and family. I know this is supposed to be a part of the purpose of this grand Paideia experience. But I’m not learning anything beyond this awful heaviness and my coursework, so far.

Hopefully things will begin looking up soon and I hope things are going better for all of you & your endeavors.

I did just present in class – I was the first presenter and presented a case study over the Kinzua Dam Controversy of the late 1950s and 1960s, revealing just how little Native Americans matter to the greater urban public even still, even today, and why these injustices should outrage all of us
…
I’m afraid this one didn’t go as well as the Monterey presentation though; since I volunteered to go first, I barely had any time to prepare (which, I’m sure my professor (in process of becoming a Dr., Ms. Ariana Camacho) is taking into account) but I just feel weird about it – my information was good but I let myself get so flustered, I went over my time limit and sounded just goofy as could be.
… hopefully things will get better. They certainly could be worse, and I do appreciate all of the perks and blessings of my current situation – but I’m ready for this to be over. I’m so tired of being here already.

I apologize for leaving this entry off on such a dreary, whiny note, but I’m being as honest as I can.

Ciao for now, cool kats

The Young Rhetoricians' Conference in Monterey, CA -- sunny but cold

It was amazing! Seeing as I’d never been to California before, I was excited for multiple reasons. But let me back up a second – my honor thesis: “A Fresh Look at “Howl”: The Trickster in Ginsberg” was accepted for presentation at The Young Rhetoricians’ Conference. It was a terrifying and dizzying experience, but, as I said, amazing. Thankfully I got to present first so that I could sit back and relax for the bulk of the conference. Unfortunately, the aspects that made the conference such a great fit for my more casual presentation also made it rather frustrating at times to get ahold of some concrete information on timing and length and formality, but it ended up breezing by beautifully – a wonderful first for what I hope to be only the beginning of an academic career 

The conference took place at the Monterey Resort Hotel right on the Pacific. So, given my family reunion in Pawley’s, South Carolina two days before, I went from walking on the Atlantic to walking on the Pacific in less than a week – the plane trek was exhausting, but I had my best friend there with me (luckily, blessedly) and so everything went by without too much stress. But, I simply tried to look at this as a sort of test-run for my Student Work Symposium presentation this spring.

It was terrifying. I will say though, few things have ever transformed me into such a great editor as crafting my paper into a presentation format. Granted, I only covered about ¼ of 1 chapter of the entire 100 page doowap, but it went over so well that one guy there, C. Dison (earning his MA and working as a professor – about to teach his first class), actually came up and told me after my presentation that my work had inspired him to write a thesis of his own instead of testing to finish his MA (he was not the only person impressed and surprised that this was an undergraduate thesis and not for an MA – sorry, but I have to brag, it’s so surreal).

Of course, I will concede that initially, though I was convinced I did immensely well for my first time, for going first, for standing up sans podium or table to cower behind – I worried afterward that I’d somehow done something horribly wrong or out-of-place because, strangely, no one asked me a single question once I’d finished. That had been the part I’d been most excited and nerve-wrecked over and it deeply affected me not being questioned. I fully anticipate questions at the SU symposium though (which actually terrifies me even more than this one around, knowing it’ll be my professors doing the questioning :p) but really, if it hadn’t been for Evan being there with me and supporting me, I’d have fallen to pieces.

I guess that’s the biggest advice I’d have to offer to presenters after this experience: bring a support group; they make all the difference in the whole world.

I did get the chance to meet some very cool people while I was there – though I will say, a big frustration I had while there was that I’d hang around a while after each presentation I went to, go to the lunches, and make sure I was extra talkative, but no matter what I did, no one would invite me to dinner with them until the next morning when they’d come up and say: Oh, I loved your presentation and we wanted to invite you to dinner but couldn’t find you!

Look dudes, neither I nor Evan had a car or money to just throw at cabbies so we ate dinner at the hotel (which was phenomenal, I must say), so how is it they couldn’t find us? And what about just approaching me after or before the presentations when I was just milling about admiring the book displays and downing all their free coffee?

But, oh well – it’s all good & we shall persevere; it was great fun & a beautiful experience, a good ego-boost.

If you get the chance – absolutely go for something like this, the school will give you $700.00 to go out and do it (which, I well know doesn’t cover all of it) but it’s absolutely worth it.

I hope your summers are going well – I really do miss getting to chat with you all.
Oh! And just in case you’re interested, there’s a John Stewart and John Yoo interview floating around thedailyshow.com right now discussing the legality and justifications of torture and presidential liberties during wartime – I know we spent a while discussing this sort of thing and the morality of torture a ways back, and just thought I’d mention it.

Anyhoo, till next semester – ciao for now, Paideia kats ;]